maressa

Retirement

Tabitha is standing in the large bedroom, looking in her large mirror, stretching and turning like a model, even though she will be grey in just a very short time. Any time now, in fact, which makes her regret her hearty breakfast. Retirement, the dreaded stage of life for so many people. Retirement, which has been hanging over her and her Richard for a while now. She smiles at the mirror, and says to her image, “Never mind, dear, as long as you wear something suitable, something that goes with grey hair. Make sure you don’t look too washed out, and don’t look frumpy!”

She hears a hearty laugh behind her, and knows that Richard has heard every word of that… “You couldn’t look frumpy if you tried, my darling,” he whispers, hugging her, holding her tight. In the mirror she can see his face, looking a little sad. He sighs, and tries to smile at her in the mirror, making his face look all crooked. “I just wished I had time to get those final promotions… Suffering from Llama Flu was not helpful to my career as a doctor. On the other hand, there is now a new chef in the restaurant! I really got fed up with that old woman, Jalisa Key, working in the restaurant, ignoring all calls for retirement. So I had some words with her… Ha, she absolutely hated my guts in the end, but at least it worked! They have a new girl now, which is an improvement!”

They both laugh. Yes, there are many elderly people stuck in their jobs, refusing to retire, making it very hard for the younger generations to find spouses spontaneously. It has to be through arranged marriages, which is very complex. Tabitha sighs, they made some very careful plans for both their daughters, and she hopes and prays the arrangements will work out. Eva has a boyfriend, Paul, which she hopes to meet up with soon. They actually hope to meet without having a party, but Tabitha is not too sure about it. It is so difficult, and as all four of them will need to retire, the logistics are giving her a headache.

“Mum!! Mumm, where are you? Look, it’s here! It’s finally here! I can’t believe it…!” Eva’s loud voice can be heard through the entire house, and, thanks to the lattice windows, throughout most of Sims Mobile, no doubt…! Tabitha rushes out of the kitchen, to see what Eva has got, knowing almost for certain that it’s the Gems allocations… She is right, the Gems have arrived… Today, today will be the start of all the chaos, new roles, new jobs, new hobbies…new everything it seems, apart from us four, Tabitha thinks…There will be nothing new about us, all grey and bend and decidedly old!

That evening they talk about it and try to arrange everything. “It is just so involved,” groans Victoria, looking through their plans, permits, applications, schedules… The large dining table is covered with papers. “I don’t even know where to start. Who needs to be promoted sooner, rather than later? That is probably the most important factor. Then we can decide who will retire to facilitate those promotions.”

Tabitha sighs, her headache has definitely not improved, and Victoria speaking like some sort of official does nothing to help. Victoria looks round at the all, shuffles a few papers around to look at proposals and Marriage Arrangement letters. “Right, from what I can gather, Eva is hoping to meet Paul sooner rather than later. Eva, that makes you top priority.” Judging by the way she looks over Eva’s outfit, you can tell that Auntie Victoria feels that the promotion is not the only thing that deserves priority… “Of course, it means you can choose an outfit, and even have your hair done. Excellent, who else needs promoting now. Samuel?”

Samuel looks up from his phone, and shakes his head decidedly. “Nope, not me, dearest darling mother. I’ve made arrangements to marry Miriam, and she needs to be an adult first, which will be very soon, but not today. No rush, I’m happy to just hang around a little longer… Wouldn’t want the age gap to be any wider than necessary now, would I!” He grins at his mother, who pinches her lips a little, which means that she is very annoyed; Samuel Vince Mortina knows exactly how to wind up people, especially his mum. He know she hates the over-the-top endearments.

“So, that is you further down the list then,” his mother says, professional voice and face back in their places, “Esther, how about you? When will you meet your Viking?” She looks at Esther, who is busy on her phone. Honesty, that thing seems to be an extension of the girl’s hand, Victoria thinks, irritated, and a little smug, wondering why Tabitha and Richard have allowed it… Esther blushes at the mention of her Viking, Magnus.

“There will be a party, to meet up properly,” she says shyly, “but it won’t be for a while, I fear. The thing is, with so many friends around in Sims Mobile I’m hoping to meet him at somebody else’s party, even before we have ours…” She looks round, nervous, wondering if they will think her pushy, but all she can see is smiling faces.

“Let’s promote you too, then, dear, at least you could start a hobby or a job, and meet Magnus whenever you can. I really hope for you that it will be soon!” Esther’s name is added to the priority list. Victoria looks at her sister in law and cousin, and also at her husband. “Now to decide who will retire first…” she doesn’t quite know how to carry on, as it’s rather awful to suggest to somebody else to hop it, as her cheeky son once called it. “I…I am not sure if it matters who will accept their papers first, so, I suppose it depends on who is most prepared?” She ends up making it sound like a question. Tabitha bends over the papers, partly to hide the tears in her eyes, partly to look through them to see if they have overlooked something.

“Eva needs to meet Paul, that is very important,” she says, “so as long as there is somebody who is friends with Hadley or Albert, or even Paul, it should be alright I suppose? I really have no idea which way to work this out to be honest. I still don’t know if it is possible to meet up outside parties. I mean, being friends with Hadley, Paul’s mum, doesn’t mean enough really, as it doesn’t say she is friends with you. Sims Mobile Government doesn’t encourage meeting people outside parties. I really can’t see from these papers that it will matter.”

The room has gone very quiet, the only noise is the soft humming from the fridge in the corner. Esther’s phone vibrates. Of course. Victoria and Tabitha look at the other faces, Chris looks down, Richard looks up, rubbing his chin. In the end, Tabitha speaks up. “I think it ought to be Richard and I who will retire first. After all, it is our daughters who need to be promoted first. It is only right and proper that we should allow them to take our places. That way, you can still spend more time with Samuel Vince. We knew this time was coming,” she continues, her voice softer than ever, sounding different, tighter, thinner, as if it’s only just held onto by a lead, struggling to run away from her control. “We have been preparing ourselves, not just our belongings and plans, but we have prepared our hearts also. It’s no point stretching this out, Richard and I will retire, and our girls will take our places.”

You can actually feel the relief in the room. This could have been a very awkward moment; it could have caused so much hurt and upset; anger could have dominated the meeting. As it was, the meeting was very calm and smooth, thanks to Tabitha’s grasp of reality, and her ability to put others first. That evening, she hugs Richard very tight, and is glad that the darkness hides her tears, voice wobbling ever so slightly, and says, “When you were so ill…and I really thought I was going to lose you, you remember, at our wedding reception? Well, I sang. I sang at the microphone when there was nobody around, and I sang, ‘Who Wants To Live Forever’, and at the time I was so, so sad! I felt that I would like to live forever, or at least almost forever. I don’t feel like that anymore. We have been so blessed, and I know it’s time now to bring in new blessings, new life.”

She sighs, listening to Richard’s heartbeat, strong, steady, feels his arms around her, and all of a sudden a dark room is not enough to hide her tears any longer. He holds her tight whilst she cries; cries for all that she will miss out on, cries over missed opportunities, cries over myriads of memories made in this house, cries over memories forgotten over time. Other memories come in then, flooding her mind, and by doing so, they stem the floods of tears. Yes, there are so many happy memories, so many treasures in her heart, stored away, never to be forgotten. After a while she finds her face dry, and the corners of her mouth curving upwards.

The first soft chuckle comes, “Do you remember…?” Before they know it they are both laughing, and Tabitha finds her face wet again, this time with happy tears. She sighs contentedly, “You know, I’m alright about retirement, really. I know I will miss this house once we have to leave, but it will be lovely to spend more time together. We have been through so much, met so many amazing people, been to the best parties in Sims Mobile, and the greatest gift we have is each other. We will go into retirement together. The thing I’m excited about is the girls! I’m so pleased they are able to be promoted first, I just can’t wait to see what will happen!”

The deed is done, the papers are filled in, there is no way back… Richard and Tabitha hugged each other, and soon the household had gone through a change that made the two girls smile and dance with glee! Eva didn’t spend too much time on her appearance, much to Tabitha’s sadness, and Victoria’s annoyance… She did change her top though, and who knows, the rest might follow, Tabitha thinks. Esther on the other hand changed her outfit several times, she just can’t decide what to wear in case she meets her Viking, Magnus. She chooses a little dress, showing off too much leg, Richard grumbles. Esther argues that it’s fine, and anyway, what’s wrong with her legs…

There are growing pains, difficulties to overcome once the girls are promoted. Esther is pleased as punch when she finds that her Dad and uncle finished the Internet hobby just in time. In the hobby room the computer desk appears, and Esther is hooked! She loves social media, and is on different sites all day long, Llamatube being her favourite, as she loves to take selfies. She signs up for the internet hobby of course. She isn’t too worried about getting a job, “I want to talk with Magnus about that,” she says when her parents ask her. “I would love to work in the same area as him, like you two did. I like that, and anyway, I’m sure I prefer something with access to computers…Mind you, the office outfits for women is appalling, not sure if I can cope looking like that all day…What if people put pictures of me like that on Llamatube?”

Tabitha is pretty sure nobody will bother, but she doesn’t want to upset her daughter. It is clear that Esther is giddy with happiness and expectation, talking about Vikings, reading on the internet about Norse legends, even looking up free language learning sites online to learn Ancient Norse, but she can’t find anything that comes close, so that idea is dropped.

Eva on the other hand is not a happy bunny. She wasn’t the happiest smiliest girl to start with, but her mood has definitely nosedived. The reason is that meeting Paul is definitely more complex than they were hoping. She was convinced that if someone in the family was friends with Paul’s mum, they could then call Paul over at the same time. The problem is, nobody in the family is friends with Paul. When going to Paul’s house to meet his mum, it’s actually impossible to add Paul to your contacts. There goes the happy scheme…

Eva is inconsolable. Now she has to wait till Paul can throw a party. “That will be ages,” she wails, her nose red and drippy, “I was so sure we could do it! We even scoured the list of parties to see if we could quickly go to the same one. Nothing! Hundreds of parties, and not one in common! I hate it, it’s so unfair! What am I going to do all this time? I will have three traits by the time I marry him!” She sobs and sobs, louder and louder, until Tabitha steps in. It’s fine to be upset of course, but going into hysterics isn’t.

“I’m sure it will work out absolutely fine,” she says soothingly, “You said Paul could have a party very late Tuesday night. Well, I’m sure you could manage to quickly pop over and meet him. Also, we will all do our best as much as possible, keeping our eyes wide open, in case we spot him… Don’t give up hope just yet, dear, it will be fine. There will be a very good reason for it, there always is. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in this life without a very good reason. We might not know the reason now, but it will be there.”

Eva grunts, and shrugs her shoulders. “I can’t see any reason for this delay. We were so looking forward to meeting up, getting married…how on earth can there be a good reason for delaying this…this good thing? How do we ever know that there is a good thing to come out of bad? That just doesn’t make sense, I can’t see how that can be true.”

Tabitha hugs her daughter, feeling the stiffness, the anger, the disappointment hardening her muscles, making her tense, hurting not jut her heart, but her whole body. She kisses her daughter’s cheek, and says, “Well, once there was a well known old lady, who went through more than we would want to think about. She wrote a beautiful poem, one that your dad and I actually talked about late last night, when talking about our journey here, in Sims Mobile. This wonderful lady wrote this poem,

My life is but a weaving, Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colours He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow; And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper And I the underside.

Not ’til the loom is silent, And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas, And reveal the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares; Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those Who leave the choice to Him.” (Corrie ten Boom)

Eva hugs her Mum, clinging to her a bit tighter, feeling herself relax, accept, mature. Retirement is a time for change, and a time for choice as well. Not just to choose jobs, hobbies, spouses, or even outfits; time to choose attitudes as well. She sighs, life is really complex…but good, and exciting too! After all, just one day, and Paul is able to throw a party…they will meet…and then…the future!

Preparations

Victoria looks round the hobby room, wondering if she ought to hang the picture back. She sighs, their house needs more wall space, really. An extra room could be helpful too, but clearing land would take priority, as there isn’t enough space even for a very small box room! She grins, thinking back to the pictures she saw the other day, of the Mortina Home when Danielle and Ricardo first started the Mortina Family, and the pokey little house they had! Each generation has added to the house, cleared more land, extended rooms, or just moved stuff around. Like she is doing now, she thinks, looking at the picture in her hands again.

She finds a space for the picture, checks her phone for the time, and quickly goes to her room to change. They need to get things done today, and getting changed is her task, and it needs to be done soon, so another quest can be ticked off the list. The two men are determined that they will leave the next generation with the Internet hobby. Victoria and Tabitha are not that bothered, but they are willing to help the men with their quests. To be fair, the men usually take on the endless quests, taking them away from their jobs, even starting a new hobby.

Tabitha was a little upset one day, as she had had plans to go to a specific party. The quests had asked for party attendance earlier that day, filling up all available parties. Tabitha and Victoria had both complained to the men. “We had actually dressed for the party, I spent money on a new dress, and because of this quest we’re not able to go. This is really getting beyond a joke, are you telling us that the party quest could not have waited a few hours, just so we could go to this party? Would the whole event fail if we’d waited?” Richard had been very apologetic, and Chris had looked worried and embarrassed.

The men agreed that they would think a little more carefully about their quests, and make sure to communicate things better. At least Tabitha had been able to go to the Blue Party, where she had a great time! Victoria had laughed when she saw her outfit, all blue of course, with a funky blue turban. It was so unlike Tabitha, who tended to wear quite proper outfits, like the suit she wore for the English Tea Party. “I like it, I wouldn’t normally wear something like this, but it’s more fun than I thought! I was looking through the wardrobe choices to see what I could find in blue, and came across this. I thought I’d look for a hat as well, and the blue turban seemed to make the blue a bit more obvious. It’s so different, isn’t it? I loved the party, so many people had made a great effort to wear blue, amazing! The house was done in blue as well.”

She showed Victoria pictures of her Classy dress. “I had so been looking forward to that one! I had been planning the dress for absolutely ages, shoes, everything. Just to find out that we had no way of going. I was really upset!” Victoria had nodded, yes, she too had her outfit ready, actually hopped into work in it! When she found out that the party couldn’t happen for them she had been very cross. “I got very cross with Chris,” she told Tabitha, “I told him that I had dressed and everything to go to the Classy or Sassy Party, and that because of their obsession with this new hobby, all my plans had been spoiled! I must say, he took it very well, apologised and everything promised to make sure they checked the quests beforehand, rather than land us all in it! Mind you, there haven’t been many parties since, everyone is so busy with this event, there is no time!”

Victoria is actually sad about that. Soon, well, any day now the Gems will be handed out, and the four of them will retire. No more parties, no more dressing up, no more visiting when you want to, with whom you want to. The retirement papers came through a few days ago, always a shock! “I knew I had done lots of things, been through a lot, have an adult son, but still, you don’t really expect somebody to write to you to tell you it was time you disappeared from off the main stage of life, do you?” she had said to Chris that evening, wafting her paper at him. He had chuckled, and flapped his paper back at her. “I got one as well. I must admit, I wasn’t very happy. I felt that my life has only just started. I struggled for so long, feeling this burden of having to Save the Line, to be the one to bring Justice to an ancestor that hardly anyone had heard about. Now I’m finally free from all that, started to enjoy my self, and Boom, retirement is here! The worst thing about it is the parties. I didn’t think I would ever say that,” Chris had laughed, and stared in the distance. He kept chuckling, then go quiet, then laugh again, until Victoria felt like throwing something at him, a book, a plate, anything!

“I was just remembering some of the recent parties,” he says, when he realises that Victoria is looking round for something to throw at him. “The Tea Party was lovely, but to go to other people’s houses, to see their designs, I started to enjoy that. Now that opportunity is gone. It does make me feel very sad actually, to have regrets. I have so many regrets, you’re the exception as you have been such a blessing to me. Of course, Samuel is not a regret, apart from regretting that we didn’t have a child when we were very young.” He sighs, looks down at his shoes, feeling sad for all the missed chances.

Victoria leans a bit closer, rubbing his shoulder. She has regrets of her own. She regrets not having confronted and helped Chris earlier, when they would have had many happy years together, rather than just getting close at the end of their lives, with their traits all filled. She thinks of her quiet tears when looking at the empty bassinet all those years, and her loneliness when she and Chris had been so far apart. She breathes in and thinks about it.

She hugs him a bit tighter, “I don’t think we should think in terms of regret, really,” she says softly. “I know there is a verse that says that God will restore the years that the locusts have eaten. He has done that, I feel. Look at these last years, with our wonderful, handsome son, and the beautiful moments we have had together. We have been so close these last years, and had so many memorable times, I really feel they have made up for lost time. With regards to parties, well, I agree, I will miss them too. On the other hand, it is something that I should always miss, no matter how long I was allowed to live in this house. I think it’s one of the things that we should be content about, to be satisfied with what we did have. “

Chris holds her very tight, tears in his eyes, his voice sounding hoarse, “That’s why I love you so much. That’s exactly why I always think of you as God’s gift to me, my precious Victoria. You are right, of course you are right. We have been richly blessed these years, and you have helped me more than I thought anybody could ever help me. I was so miserable, so weighed down, felt everyone and everything was against me, that God Himself was against me. Then the sun came out, and everything looks different now, even the sky is clearer blue, birds sing sweeter, and you, my darling, are sweeter than all!”

Victoria smiles at her husband, stifling the growing giggles. He is such a star at flattering, she thinks, grinning at him, but he’s sweet. The best thing is, he actually means it. I do feel loved and appreciated, even though I feel he can be a bit over the top. Better this way round though, his coldness, sarcasm, sneering comments and looks drove me to distraction. I never knew a person could change so dramatically! There are still days of darkness, of course, days where Chris will be grumpy, or rude, but he will get out of it very quickly, and apologise and make up for it!

Many things change. Children change, and go from pigtailed staggering toddlers to tall pretty girls. Victoria looks at her niece Eva, walking past. “Isn’t she promised in marriage?” she asks Tabitha when she sees her in the kitchen. Eva looks so grown up, and seems very happy, glowing with it, making her face light up. She almost looks beautiful, although Victoria never liked her hairstyle, and she is hoping the girl will change that as soon as she is made active! Her clothes are a bit revealing, something that Victoria or Tabitha would never do, but then, once the girl has met her promised man, that could change too!

Tabitha smiles dreamily, “Yes, she is going to meet him as soon as we retire, or get the Gems. His name is Paul. They are new in town, their house is as tiny as the old Mortina house used to be! They are first generation people. Eva is very keen to meet him, which shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m friends with his mum, so I can go to her house at any time, meet the son, and call him over here. In fact, I know Richard has met the boy already. He wanted to have a proper talk with him, just to make sure you know.”

Victoria doesn’t know, although she would love to meet the future wife of her own precious son as well! Such a good idea, she thinks, meeting them first, just to see what they are like. She mentions it to Tabitha, who laughs, “Definitely! Richard was very keen, and he knew the boy a little, as he is a junior doctor in the same hospital. He has only just started, but Richard says he works very hard. He met him, and they got on very well. The boy has two younger sisters, beautiful little girls like their mum, with black hair and blue eyes.”

This makes Victoria stand up a little straighter. “Oh?” she says, trying not to look like a cat who’s spotted a bird, “Any idea how old they are, and what they are like?”

Tabitha smiles mischievously, knowing exactly what Victoria is driving at. “The older girl is called Miriam, has cute wavy hair, and is a real handful I’m told. The little girl is called Caitlynn; she has only just become a toddler. It’s a lovely family, hardworking, simple people. Eva and Paul will be the first to get married in their family, so his parents are very excited about that. I know they will retire soon, probably as soon as Caitlynn grows up. Miriam will be an adult very soon…”

Victoria smiles back, “She sounds lovely, and I will definitely have a word with my men folk. We quite like the idea of arranged marriages, you know, like Richard and I did. It worked out so well, and the wonderful bonus is that you get closely involved with friends and their families as well. How about Esther? She will be staying here, won’t she? Is she excited?”

Tabitha nods, yes, at the last family meeting it was decided that Esther would stay here. She found a young man, or rather, her parents found her a young man. Esther is the one most excited about it. “Yes, we did find her a prospective husband, a young Norse lad. Esther calls him her Viking hero, it’s so sweet! She is so happy, goes on and on about her young man, his name is Magnus. As soon as we retire they’ll make arrangements no doubt, unless Magnus is promoted before we retire and we can meet him like Richard met Paul. We don’t know the details yet.”

The dreaded family meeting had actually gone better than expected. Esther was really the only one interested, Eva having been promised to Paul already. Theodore has no plans as yet, but he is happy enough to make his own way in Sims Mobile. There are plenty of flats available, or even a little bungalow. The others were all very keen that Samuel Vince should stay. He is such a great guy, happy, energetic, kind and fun loving. He was keen too. He does believe in the Calling, as he sees it, but not in the burdened, dour way his father did. He loves his Mission, thinks it’s a fantastic challenge, and he is all up for it, as he calls it.

The others are all in agreement that Samuel Vince should be part of the Line, and they unanimously hope that his Mission will somehow succeed. “I have no idea how I’m going to fulfil my Calling yet,” he had grinned widely at the family sitting round the room, “but I’m absolutely determined to fulfil it. Maybe start a massive house for all the lost elders wandering the streets. Maybe I will start a trend of some sort, I don’t know. I’m sure I can think of something, and I’m equally sure that the whole Calling thing is going to be very exciting!”

The decisions were made, and it was agreed that soon after the Gems were received they would hand over the house to the new generation. Victoria does feel a twinge of anticipation, wondering what the next few years will be like. Beginnings are always lovely, the not knowing, the dreams and expectations… Now there are matters to sort out, jobs to finish, quests to complete. A last party here, a quick practise there. Then, time will slow down for them, they will need to choose what to wear, which is a Quest in itself as far as Victoria and Tabitha are concerned! Family photographs will be taken, and the last thing you want is to be immortalised in…in something dreadful, like a dull suit, or an awful jacket, or horror of horrors, a bathing suit! No, last days are filled to overflowing, and Victoria can feel time slipping away from her. Preparations have become serious all of a sudden!

English Tea

Tabitha keeps checking her phone, ignoring the frowns and judgmental looks clients give her. She just needs to keep an eye on the time today. Any other day she loves to spend time with customers, helping them to make the most of their photoshoot. It’s not just snapping pictures, as Chris used to sneer, to her it really is a work of art. She wants to make sure that the photos she takes are top quality picture, with the right lighting, the correct background, the best position for the customer.

Today is a little different, though. She still enjoys it of course, it’s just that today they are hosting a special party. She is the hostess, actually. The four of them had sat down a few nights ago, chatting, relaxing. Now that Chris is less obsessed about his Destiny, he is actually good fun to be with. She remembers him as the little boy, when he was like that too. Before the pressure and the tales and expectations turned him, and made him Mr Awkward. Now the pressure is gone, and Victoria is helping him to overcome his insecurities and social struggles, and she is doing a great job.

Tabitha actually smiles, causing the customer to audibly sigh, roll his eyes, and step back a little. Oh right, she is working…the guy must have worried she was trying it on… In fact, she was just remembering some of Chris’ jokes! He is using his wit on jokes, rather than on suspicious accusations and slipping into the victim role. She manages a little private giggle in the prop box, thinking about some stories Chris told them. Honestly, who knew Chris could be so funny? Poor Harry, his manager…not much love lost between those two, that’s for sure!

“I’m really sorry I can only finish off this last photo shoot, then I’ll have to dash,” she explains to a potential customer who just dropped in on the off chance. “I will be back at work tomorrow, so if you’d like to make an appointment, I can do that?” She helps the girl with the soft pink hair to fill out the form, starting to look forward to working with her. The hair colour will go very nicely with the standard background, she thinks, looking at the girl with half closed eyes, imagining her in different lights, from different angles. When the girl looks up, she finds Tabitha staring at her with half closed eyes, head tilted. The girl freezes a bit, and takes a careful shuffle back.

Tabitha smiles reassuringly at the girl, “Don’t worry, I was just thinking ahead, wondering which light setting would be best. It will be great, your hair colour is lovely, and will come out well against any background, really.” The girl looks relieved, and after setting a time she goes off. Tabitha hurriedly packs up the cameras and props, tidying things up, as she won’t be back till much later. She doesn’t want to come back exhausted, all partied out, just to have to hunt for her photography items.

The party! She is getting exciting now, as she locks the last box, and goes off home. She needs to get changed. “This is going to be tricking,” she mumbles to herself, making people look at her in a alarm, watching her march home, mumbling, frowning. “Whose idea was this, I wonder.” Then she grins, it was actually Chris who thought of it! “Imagine that,” she mutters, grinning, and doing nothing to alleviate people’s worries! “Imagine Mr Grouch coming up with a theme for a party, an English Tea Party! What on earth made him come up with a theme like that? I wonder what he’ll be like today… The wedding party was awful, with all of us worried about poor Richard. Then Victoria organised the party for us, after Eva was born. He was awful then, hardly speaking to anybody at all, glaring at guests, growling at Victoria… He really was the end, or rather, as Mum used to say, ‘the absolute terminus’, and he was.”

“I don’t know how Victoria managed all those years. Well, I do, of course, but she is one strong woman, and I’m glad that her prayers have been well and truly answered! Mind you, with that little rascal Samuel, I hope she hasn’t stopped praying just yet…!”

She is glad to be home, checking her phone for the time again. Good! Not much time, but enough, hopefully. She shakes her fist at Chris when she sees him, but he just laughs. She rolls her eyes, if only he knew how hard this is! What is she going to wear? She will probably need something new, which might be easier said than done. Just yesterday they all clubbed together, and managed to pay for another plot of land to be cleared, which doesn’t leave much money for new clothes!

Tabitha is relieved when she finds that the outfit which reminds her of the theme a lot, is actually quite reasonable. She finds a shade that doesn’t clash with her hair too much. She would have liked pink, but that really doesn’t suit her. It’s a shame, as the theme for her party will be an English Tea Party, and the colour that comes to mind is pink. Pink and flowers. She heard the stories of people who went to visit England, and everywhere they went were pink flowers. The curtains, carpets, upholstery of chairs were all decorated with pink flowers, often different shades and shapes of flowers in one room, clashing, and reminding you of wonderful gardens all at the same time. She looks round, if only there were pink flowery dresses available, Laura Ashley Style, with the huge hats to match, like English ladies wear to events like Royal Ascot! She twirls round in front of the mirror and sighs, if only…!

She quickly tidies up the house a bit, moves a few pieces of furniture around, and sets up a little tea corner. Stools here, tiny tables here, right…no, better over here. Tea tray on this one, biscuits on that one…Two jars I think, digestives, ugh, and ginger ones, that should do it. She stands back, and can’t think how to improve it, which means that it’s alright for now. She feels a bit worried, as she knows that some of her friends who will be here any minute now are amazing designers, with great taste and they might have done a much better job. Never mind, she sighs, and moves on, checking that there is enough food for everyone, the party signs are up…She is ready!

She spots Victoria in a lovely salmon pink dress, looking really pretty, matching earrings and bracelets, and she tugs at her blouse, hoping she doesn’t look too much out of place! The men look smart too, and then the first guests start to arrive! Tabitha is so excited, she wonders who will make it, as of course, the Sims Mobile Government doesn’t allow parties to grow too big, and even then they can shut down the party without a moment’s notice! The Renaldi family is actually the first to arrive. She is glad; she gets on very well with Bristol, and Victoria is very friendly with Kiera. She can’t believe Kiera has children, she still seems so young! Even Amara, hardly been promoted, and already had a baby. She gasps, Amara herself is here, at their Tea party! How amazing that is!

She chats with Bristol, gets to meet Amara, who looks stunning and congratulates her with her baby. The party is busy with so many friends, some of them Tabitha meets for the first time. She smiles, pours tea, chats, rubs aching jaws, keeps an eye on her adult daughters… She just hopes they accept her advice. Tabitha had sat them down the night before and had explained the whole thing again. “You need to make sure that you arrange things properly. If you don’t you’re heading for heartache. You can get married very easily, have a baby even easier, but to actually have a family, a strong steady family…well, that takes careful planning. You see, it’s almost impossible to get a Moving In Permit when you just meet a random person. For one thing, they might be married already, or have all their traits. You just don’t know, and can’t bank on it. So, if you hear of somebody that you like, meet the family, and try to make arrangements.”

The girls had both nodded and smiled, but Tabitha knows that with girls the nodding and smiling could mean anything! She is worried, she wants to prevent heartache and sadness, and on the other hand, she wants them to meet somebody they love or come to love. “Life can be so cruel,” she says softly, “and on the other hand, each day can be an amazing, precious gift, to be cherished and enjoyed. I pray both my daughters will find their days happy and full. Theodore as well of course, but somehow to me it feels different. I don’t know why, it just does.”

The house is humming, there are people everywhere, chatting, laughing, meeting and greeting each other. Then, suddenly, there is a gasp, followed by growing silence wherever the news is received. “Vivien Leigh has accepted retirement unexpectedly!” Tabitha stares at the girl in front of her, not believing her ears. Vivien? Retired? No, no way, that can’t be! Vivien, who has been such a help to so many people, and is so needed for her wise counsel. How can she retire, and so suddenly, with no warning, no preparation?

She rushes over to Vivien the moment she arrives. “Oh Vivien, is it true? Is it really true?” Tabitha struggles, she really mustn’t cry, what will Vivien think? She might actually be relieved to retire, and have some peace and quiet, and with everyone weeping all over her, well, she might be hurt! “I just heard the news,” Tabitha continues, looking at Vivien’s smooth face, trying to figure out if she is alright about it all, “the others told me. We will miss you, really truly miss you…” Her voice is starting to do things of its own accord, and Tabitha knows that’s the time to stop words from coming out. Words will misshape themselves, tumble and flow like a river over a rocky patch, and they will sound all disjointed. No, far better to just keep quiet, catch your breath, work up a smile, until you can feel your throat and tongue relaxing and ready to be controlled once again.

Vivien on the other hand looks very composed, calm and serene as usual, with her dark eyes and ready smile. She explains that yes, it had come rather suddenly, and she would miss everyone, especially Penny who had only just had her Coming Out party. Tabitha nods, she’d hoped to have gone, despite not owning a scrap of clothing that could be considered cowgirl style clothing, but by the time she got up, Sims Mobile Government had closed down the party. She wonders briefly if Vivien’s retirement was something to do with the party? Vivien explains that she’s at peace with it all, really. You have to accept certain things in life, she says, very philosophically Tabitha thinks, still struggling to breathe properly.

Tabitha is determined to spend as much time as possible with Vivien, and she begs the others to take as many pictures of them both as possible. She can’t believe it, but when she looks over at Vivien at some stage, she looks so happy, so at ease! As if nothing has happened, as if there is no monumental decision made, because there she is, chatting, drinking tea…looking stunningly beautiful as ever!

Tabitha and Victoria both say that the rest of the party passed in a bit of a blur after that. They meet some lovely people, one girl in particular they had never seen before. Her name is Alyssia, she has beautiful hair, and came with the rest of her family. There was the young Amara, very, very pretty, standing her ground it seemed, going round lots of people; Hank was new as well. “That’s the thing I love about these parties,” says Tabitha that evening, “meeting friends, making new friends, saying bye to amazing friends…” They all go quiet at that, feeling sad and missing Vivien, as if she’s gone already! “I loved meeting lots of new people today, having tea with them,” continues Tabitha after awhile, “saw some old friends as well, I also had some important chats! I’ve seen some of the pictures…it really was a wonderful time. I even saw Chris smiling!”

She laughs out loud at his scowl, and he just has to laugh with them all. “Yes, funny enough, I did enjoy myself. I’d never have believe it myself, but I actually had a great time, I don’t know how that happened? I have never been one for parties, so not sure why this one was so different. Maybe the tea got laced..?”

They chat a bit longer, feeling a little drowsy after the long day, content, blessed, at peace. Looking out the large lattice windows they can see the new patch being cleared. Night noises come in, cheeky Samuel can be heard softly snoring on the baby monitor. That Samuel, he had a great time too! Tabitha smiles over at Victoria, and giggles a little, probably the tea? “You better watch that irrepressible son of yours… He met a lot of people, and not once did he look shy…He was quite happy to go up to all sorts of guests, chatting away, telling them all sorts…”

Yes, she thinks, it really was a great party. She smiles, looking satisfied as a cat in Spring time, thinking back over her conversation with Kiera. “She’s a real character, she is! I just hope it will work out, I’m actually starting to feel quite excited now, but there we go, only time will tell. Who knows what will happen, but I have learned to have patience, and faith, and to trust that all things will work out the way they should. Just trust, although there is no ‘just’ about it, it is one of the hardest things I have learned in all this time. Looking back on all my traits, jobs, hobbies and friendships, there have been lots of difficult lessons, time consuming events, painful memories, but the hardest of all is still Trust. I wonder why…”

Samuel

Who knew that one little boy could make such a difference to a person. Victoria Mortina stands in the doorway to the blue bedroom, staring at the little bassinet. The same bassinet that has sheltered and housed every single Mortina baby; ever since Danielle and Ricardo Mortina started their family. In the bassinet, fast asleep, his ginger hair reflecting the light, tiny balled fists next to chubby cheeks, is the ninth generation of Mortinas. Her son, her precious little Gift, Samuel. Or rather, Samuel Vince Mortina, for he isn’t just any baby. He is the Mortina who will carry on the fight for Justice.

Victoria blushes a little. It’s not only every day life that has changed, with the feeding and changing and all the rest of the Bundle of Joy activities needed to make sure that Samuel will get a three star Good Upbringing trait. That is a priority at the moment, of course, and even though he is just a tiny baby, he has got one star already; Chris and Victoria have made sure of that! No, it’s not just the daily care for Samuel that has changed, she has changed too.

Chris used to bore her silly with his endless rants about Injustice, and Destiny, and all his self importance, and his victim stance, his constant fussing about being misunderstood by the whole of Sims Mobile, and how difficult his life was. Now she finds herself remembering more and more of his endless litanies. Looking at the tiny Samuel, she can feel some of the excitement that Guinevere must have felt, looking at Little Chris. “No wonder she always called him ‘Little Chris’ even though he is by no means the smallest Mortina,” Victoria smiles.

Yes, she actually smiles about it now, whereas only a year ago it used to make her cringe. In the end it got so bad that Victoria just had to leave the room whenever Guinevere started off on one of her ‘Little Chris’ stories. It just made her so mad, the endless stories about all Chris’ doings, and the way he was talked about, as if he was going to save the Mortina race, at least the race belonging to ancestor Chris… Now she finds herself daydreaming, seeing Chris and Samuel standing up for justice together. Maybe they will lead a petition at the Court..mmmm, not so heroic, you just fill in some forms. With Victoria actually working there they don’t even need to go to the civic centre, she can just take it in to work with her.

Well, maybe they can do a protest in the market square? Not very many important people passing through, she objects, and it would look a little silly, just standing there. On the other hand, both of them have just received their last trait. Little worry lines appear, whilst she carefully straightens Samuel’s blanket. Having all their traits will mean retirement soon after Samuel grows up, no doubt. Of course, they can delay their retirement for a while, but then that would prevent Samuel from fulfilling his…his destiny, I suppose, she realises with a shock.

“Oh dear,” she whispers, sitting down on top of the blue bedspread, “oh dear, I’m starting to sound like Chris…and his Mum! Am I going to be as obsessive as them? Will I be nagging my little Samuel with Destiny, Justice and Restoring the Line, like Guinevere did to Chris? Oh Lord, please protect me and him from doing that! How awful if I put the same kind of pressure on Samuel!”

It was a busy time for Victoria. Many of her friends that she had grown up with were all taking retirement. She felt sad, and a bit lost, knowing that she wouldn’t see their familiar faces around anymore. Even some of her relatives are retiring, and she stand on the doorstep, watching them walk off, out of her life, and feels her stomach getting heaver and heavier. “Bye David, bye Alex,” she whispers, swallowing tears and with the tears the funny squashed feeling in her throat. “What will I do at parties without you guys there to have a chat? It will be so strange! Who do I talk to?”

Well, that is nonsense of course, she recovers herself, tugging at her bright green top, a reminder to be strong, to stand for what is right. “You have been to lots of parties,” she reminds herself in her sternest voice, “and you always find somebody to chat to. You have even been to parties where you didn’t really know anybody. Remember the last one you went to, Taylor Mason’s party! It was great, so many art lovers there…” It had been a great party, one that Victoria had never been to before, but Taylor was going to retire soon, and wanted to have one more party, so Victoria went, and had a great time. It did lead to words with Chris when she came back, and described the children’s bedroom at Taylor’s house. Chris was not amused, and felt that she was trying to make him feel bad for not having built a special room as big and bight as the one at her friend’s house!

David and Alex had told her about some of the others ready to retire; the one that stunned her the most being Sierra! Sierra Chisholm, retiring? Who had ever dreamt that would be possible! So when Sierra pops in for a moment, obviously on her way to something, she isn’t as shocked as Sierra was clearly hoping she was going to be.

“Well, you won’t be retiring yet, not with a baby,” says Sierra, lifting one eyebrow in her well known manner, “I can’t imagine Chris wanting anymore kids now he has got someone to carry on his world saving mission… Mind you, having an only child with such lofty ideals set before him is bound to turn it into a spoiled brat. You’ll probably be quite relieved you’ll only have the one child to deal with. Less damage…”

Victoria had gone very red and could feel herself starting to shake with anger and hurt, but Sierra had flounced off, waving over her shoulder, “Must be off, lots to do before I take life a bit easier…” Victoria was left standing on the doorstep, hot and bothered, too angry to speak. Of all the cheek…! She soon gets over her anger though, as holding tiny Samuel in her arms melts her heart, and makes her forget the whole of Sims World! She loves to sing to him, and watch his little face light up when she makes cooing noises. He is such a beautiful baby, so lively and has such bright eyes, that by the time the birthday cake appears, Victoria is convinced that Samuel is special.

“You see,” she explains to Chris, “I do worry about putting pressure on him, especially when he is so small, like your mum did to you. I’m not talking about that, but I do think that he is a very special child. The way he looks, and the speed with which he reacts to everything, I think that’s amazing. I am convinced that he is really going to make a difference in Sims Mobile.”

Chris couldn’t have been happier. All his life he had been prepped to make a difference, to Restore justice, to…to fix the Mortina Family Line. With his little son, it looked like he had done just that! He felt the sense of relief as well, relief that it wasn’t actually something he still had to accomplish, but rather, he had done it already! He felt happier than ever, and was beginning to feel that tiny spark of job satisfaction that comes from a task completed. He leaned back, watches Victoria hold his baby son, and a warm, tingling feeling starts at his feet, and works through his body, till it culminates in a beaming smile.

“I’ve done it, Mum, I’ve done it,” he whispers, “I’m not a failure, I haven’t let you down, nor Ancestor Chris for that matter… I have provided Sims Mobile with a son. My beautiful Vince, well, Samuel Vince, will Restore Justice. Not just for Ancestor Chris, but also for Ancestor Vincent, the one that…well, the tragic one…” Of course, Samuel was still tiny, but children grow up with the speed of lightning in Sims Mobile it seems, and birthday icons appear out of nowhere before you know it!

Samuel grows up, of course, Victoria knew it would happen sooner rather than later. He is a cute little boy, and she loves to watch him. “Don’t you think he really looks different in that top?” she asks Tabitha one day. Tabitha looks at her strangely and then averts her eyes quickly.

“No, I don’t,” she says softly, after a very awkward moment, “he looks just like any other Mortina boy I have seen in this family, whether it is this generation, our generation, or any generation. They all looked like little Samuel. I know to you he is special, you’re his mother, but don’t go down the line of worshipping him, and spoiling him.”

Victoria blushes violently at these words, and has to look away, horror written all over her face, shock widening her eyes. Spoiling him? She hears Sierra’s voice again, when she came to say goodbye, assuring her that her darling Samuel would grow up into a spoiled brat…! That mustn’t happen, and she is sure that it can’t happen. Samuel is such a smart little boy, and so handsome already…

It niggles away at Victoria though, and she decides to watch out for any signs that Samuel is being spoiled. She spends the rest of the day not just feeding and playing with Samuel, but also looking for any signs that he is becoming a spoiled little boy. That evening she talks about it with Chris, as she is starting to get a little concerned, now that she has observed Samuel a bit closer, but feels that as Samuel’s mother she might not be the best person to recognise the signs. She looks at Chris, a little unsure how to bring this up, without upsetting him.

“I watched Samuel today,” she begins, twisting her fingers, then realises she is wearing her favourite green top, which is showing signs of too much usage, and takes a deep breath, drawing in strength as well as air. “I watched him react to things he dislikes, and really, he went nuts! Do you think we should be concerned? He is really very demanding, you know, and he has such a temper….”

Victoria stops, as she can see Chris’ matching temper rising too. “Well, what did you expect?” he says, his voice already on edge, “He has a Destiny in life, you know, there is a Mission ahead. He’s not just any sort of kid, who can just wander through life, collecting his handful of traits, getting level ten in careers and hobbies, and then just pass into retirement, never to be heard of again! My son, our son, well, he is Special, he…he needs all the strength of character he can grow, and he will need sheer determination, stamina and will power to undo a Grave Injustice…” Chris stops, out of breath, glaring at Victoria, daring her to disagree, to belittle his son or his calling in life.

Victoria sighs to herself, but smiles at Chris, putting her hand on his arm, calming him, reassuring him, and says soothingly, “Of course I know all that, but you see, my family were heroes too, in fact, I helped out with various missions,” she plucks at her bright green top with her free hand, smiling at the distant memories now, “but we were always told that being strong is not the same thing as being pushy. It is easy to be forceful, to hit people over the head with a big stick, but it’s a different matter altogether to have strength of character. That is what makes a hero.”

“There is a Bible verse that says, ‘He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit is better than he takes a city’ so I know it’s important to have self control, and I do believe that it is important that Samuel learns that. I know he is a darling little boy, and I do agree that he is very, very special, but if he grows up without strength of character, he will bring heartache and harm to the Mortina Line, rather than restore the Line. I know he has the makings of a great man, a great warrior for justice, but if his temper is untamed, he will be a walking disaster.”

She looks straight at Chris, sees his frown, the blazing eyes, but her steady gaze, her calm face and sweet smile conquers, and in the end she can see his anger ebbing away. He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and nods. “Yes, yes, I know you are right, I just want him to do well…I love him, and I just know that he will be special, and I want him to succeed in whatever he does. I know he needs steering carefully, I don’t want his spirit squashed, but I can see he needs the right kind of upbringing.”

This is easier said than done. Samuel is a very strong willed little boy, with a flaming temper to match his fiery hair, sparkling green eyes full of zest for life, and a cheeky grin. His ideas are as wild as his hair, and his parents look at each other in despair several times each day… What will become of their sweet little darling, when he isn’t little anymore? Victoria doesn’t know, but she is determined to be the best mother she can be for this vibrant little boy! How grateful she is every day for this little bundle of joy, this wriggling mass of chubby arms and sturdy legs, this wonderful boy with a zest for life that infects the most dour person around him! Samuel, a fitting name for the daily reminder that God had heard her prayers!

Advice

It is still early, the day hardly started. Victoria yawns, pads over to the post box, collecting the Special Events money on her sway. Such hard work, those special events, especially as most of them are done overnight. They can be six hours long, so to do them in the day is hard. She feels tired and wonders if she’ll have to smile a lot today, or whether she can just hide out somewhere and rest.

When she passes the lounge she can see little Esther staggering round already. She looks the spitting image of Eva at that age, in fact, it’s almost impossible to tell them apart at that age! She sighs, sadness crawling in past her defences. The fact Esther is up and about means that the bassinet is empty, waiting for a baby. Our baby, whispers her heart, our baby should be in there!

The post does nothing to improve her mood. In it is an information card from Sims Mobile Government that she and Chris both have started on their last trait, which means that in just a day or so they’ll be able to choose the last trait, work a bit longer, and the dreaded retirement notice will pop up! She sits down on the richly upholstered chair in the foyer, her legs jellified, heart beating wildly. She wanted a baby, wanted it so badly! Now it looks like it will never happen, she’ll be old and grey and retired, without ever carried a child, without having anyone call her Mummy.

She feels the resentment and anger against Chris growing, feels angrier with herself still. Surely she could have found a way to talk to him, how could she have let it happen? She knows it is because of his rages and tears that she has left it. She hates how he dissolves in tears, blaming the whole world, drowning in self pity. She hates the scenes, so she has avoided any issues that might cause a meltdown. She knows it’s the way of least resistance, and is disappointed in herself. “You know how he shouts though, and what with the others in the house… I can’t let it happen, what would his Mum say or think if I upset her son that way? What kind of a wife drives her husband that mad? They will all think I’m a bad influence on Chris, that I’m no good and incapable of handling him. What else could I do?”

She looks at the notices again, knowing their time will be up quite soon, and as they have no young children or other dependants, they have no reason to delay retirement, which means that they will be made to retire well before anyone else. Well before Richard and Tabitha for example, who have still got very young children, and can therefore delay their retirement without any problems. What to do? She feel stuck, stuck in a position she got herself into, but then, what else could she have done? Have endless shouting matches? Drive Chris over the edge, seeing how fragile his mental health is anyway? Go to the Court, and get a lawyer to draw up papers, but then, would Chris listen to papers any more than he would to a person?

She stares at the dark red wallpaper, thinking back over the years that she has been married to Chris. Victoria remembers the good times, for Chris can be great fun, but the gaps between good times are getting longer it seems. She breathes out, trying to release some of the stress that she can feel growing inside her. Sleeping is getting harder and harder, anger, resentment, frustration and yes, and hate, growing inside her at night, when she lies down next to Chris. A peacefully sleeping Chris, snoring away, unless somebody has upset him… Then he moans and complains, and keeps repeating how misunderstood he is, and how nobody loves him. He will constantly tell her that he has a task to fulfil, and that not a single person in Sims Mobile is supporting him. After a few hours of that, she can’t she can blame people!

When he does doze off after a bit, she has been tempted to put a pillow over his face, but stopped herself, as she knows it will go wrong, apart from any ethical questions. Nothing seems to stop or change Chris! “Lord, I don’t know what to do, I fear I’m starting to hate him, and I’m desperate to have a child. I know the anger towards Chris is mostly anger against my own weakness, Lord, but what else can I do? What should I do now? I have nobody to talk to, the house is full of people, and I have never been so lonely in my life! Please help!”

That morning Victoria learns a very valuable lesson: be careful what you pray for…!

The first thing that happens is that straight after breakfast both sets of grandparents announce quite calmly that they’re moving out! Of course, the move had been planned for ages, but it still comes as a shock. Secretly, Victoria is relieved to see Guinevere and Sebastian go. They were very friendly, and Guinevere has been very helpful, but they also have an unhealthy influence on their Little Chris, as they still call him.

Guinevere in particular is always concerned that Chris has everything he needs. “Make sure you don’t cook his beans to long, he doesn’t like them too dark green.” Once she even said, “I hope you’re not thinking of cutting your hair? Chris really doesn’t like women with short hair.” Victoria had smiled, of course, and only rolled her eyes and pulled a nasty face once she knew she was all by herself in the bathroom…

Now Guinevere is going, and although they might still visit, this is highly unlikely, and Chris will have no way of contacting his mum. Sims Mobile Government don’t approve of children contacting their parents once they have moved into the retirement homes, so unless they bump into her in the market, it’s very unlikely that he will see Guinevere again! Chris is very upset, hugging his Mum, crying on her shoulder, repeating over and over, “What do I do to fulfil my destiny now? Who will help me now? Can’t you just stay? Just don’t accept the birthday cake letter?”

Fortunately, even Guinevere can see how impractical that would be, so, before the day is over, Victoria is living in a much calmer house. It’s incredible how different it feels! Sebastian was very quiet, and kind, Guinevere was friendly, but it feels as if the air in the house has lifted. Victoria even senses a change in Chris. He doesn’t seem such a victim that lunchtime, and actually discusses some things in a very rational manner! Victoria doesn’t want to count her chickens yet, but it looks as if Chris has finally grown up just a tiny bit…long may it last!

The next answer to her prayer comes in the form of two of her friends. Afterwards she chuckles to herself, yes, beware of what you pray for, you might not like the answer…! It started soon after lunch. Friends often pop in for a chat, or a cup of tea, and they all enjoy it. Apart from Chris, of course, who says it cramps his style. After lunch Tabitha spots Victoria McDonnell standing just outside, checking her phone. Tabitha is busy, so she sends Eva to call Victoria in. Eva dutifully goes outside and says to Victoria, “My Mum and Auntie are inside, doing their hobbies. Mummy asks if you would like to come in for a bit?” She shows Victoria to the hobby room, where the yoga mat is, and the hatch to the kitchen. In that way, Victoria McDonnell can visit with Tabitha as well as Victoria, her aunt…

Tabitha’s hobby is cooking, which takes her all round the kitchen, using the red mixer, nuking things in the blue microwave. Then there are the three children, Eva, Theodore and toddler Esther, who keep popping in and out of the kitchen, asking for this, wanting that, needing all sorts of things, mostly attention… That leaves Victoria, who is confined to her little pink yoga mat. She can pretend to be bending, stretching, leaning, but there is only so much you can do that, and of course, it’s all very slow moving. There is plenty of time to listen to Victoria McDonnell of course, and no excuse or way to avoid her.

Victoria McDonnell is a straight talker, as Victoria knows, and her heart sank when she came into the hobby room. It starts soon after their guest arrived, whilst Vitoria K was trying to do an awkward stretch. Victoria watches her for a bit, looks at the kitchen where Tabitha is sorting out a snack for Theo, and says, “Well, the family bassinet is empty, isn’t it? So when are you and Chris starting a family? I mean, you’ll be getting your last trait soon, won’t you? For as long as I remember you’ve wanted a family, so when is it going to be?”

Victoria K plops down on the yoga mat, her breath leaving in one big whoosh. Really Lord, this is Your idea of getting someone to advise me? She groans, why did I even ask? She looks at Victoria, nope, the girl isn’t going anywhere, she sighs. She sits up, looks over to where Chris sits writing, and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know,” she says, and suddenly her eyes fill with tears! Victoria McDonnell is there straight away, hugging her, helping Victoria to her feet.

Over a cup of proper English Breakfast tea, Victoria K explains how sad she is, how desperate for a child, and how Chris tends to lose it when she mentions it. Victoria McDonnell listens intently, and agrees that it can look like the easiest option is to go for peace. “Girl, you need to make up your mind though. Now his parents are gone, things might be easier, I mean, you need to do what is right, and you’re his wife, not his doormat, you know!”

Yes, Victoria knows, but even so, she hates confrontations, always believes stuff will solve itself, which it often does, Chris being the exception, it turns out… Victoria McDonnell stays a little longer, hugs Vitoria goodbye, and encourages her to really follow her heart in these matters, to push through, and to trust that everything will work out in the end. “You’re a very strong woman, I know you can do this. Chris does love you, I’m sure, and with his parents gone he will need you a lot more as well. Give it a shot, woman, give it a shot, I’m sure it will be ok! After all, what are a few broken plates, or a hole punched wall if you can get him to see sense?” She laughs, and goes off, beautiful, glamorous, wearing skimpy clothes and still looking stunning…how does she do it, wonders Victoria K, I would just look a tart dressed like that, and she manages to look amazing…!

The next one coming up to the house actually makes Victoria look up to the sky and say, “Really? This is NOT what I had in mind when asking for help…!” It’s Vivien, Vivien Leigh in all her splendour, striding along the pavement, making you look behind her to find her courtiers, or maids, or anyone waiting on her. She is so beautiful and stunning, yet so kind and understanding, with an amazing grasp of life, you just want her to be your friend. Just to feel supported, and seen as a person, and accepted.

She goes out to meet Vivien, and Vivien comes to the point straight away. She tells Victoria that she heard about her wish for a family, and the moods that Chris gets himself into, and that she decided to come and see her. After all, that is what friends are for, aren’t they? This is true, and Victoria feels helpless at this, as she did ask for a friend, but so soon… Not today, though, Victoria groans, not today, I don’t think I can take it if she asks me why I haven’t taken Chris to the cleaners yet… What will she think of me? She would never be that weak and mouse like, and she will despise me, and probably laugh her beautiful laugh, and I will feel a frump and…and… Oh Lord, really?

Vivien doesn’t laugh at all, and she certainly doesn’t look like she despises Victoria either. She smiles, and puts her fine, gloved hand on her shoulder and says, “Victoria, dear, you are a beautiful woman, and you have been a very good wife to Chris. You have been kind to him, shown understanding and acceptance where many women would have run a mile already. Don’t you think it’s time to use up the credit you have built with him, and talk to him? Yes, he might go off the deep end, but that is his choice, his responsibility. You are his wife, not his mother, and he is an adult. You are not responsible for his actions, he is. You need to point that out to him, if necessary. Now, he needs to grow up. All this talk about destiny and Restoring Justice, well, it’s just that: talk. I’m sure you will know how to deal with it all. You see, Greta and I were talking about it the other day with Clara, and she said, ‘She needs to remember what she was created for’ so you see, I’m sure you can do this!”

Vivien glides away majestically, leaving Victoria staring after her, deep in thought. “Yes,” she says to herself, “yes, they are right. I have actually forgotten. I have forgotten that people are created in the image of God, and nobody therefore has a right to look down on me, to treat me like I’m worthless! I know I’m precious, and yes, I need to speak to Chris, we need to solve this!”

Victoria wears a green top when she goes to speak to Chris. Somehow it helps her, as it reminds her of her superhero suit that she used to wear before she got married, before she somehow gave up her identity! They have a very long talk, Chris in tears at first, and angry, but when Victoria stands strong, the amazing thing happens! Chris draws from her strength, and starts to listen to her, and to actually think about his life, his choices, his real destiny as husband, and his need to be a father as well, unless he wants the Mortina Line to end on another Chris Mortina?

Victoria smiles to herself, nuzzling the red downy head, rocking gently, holding the most precious gift she could ever have, a gift she thought she had missed out on for ever. Her son, her precious, special sweet little son, Samuel Vince Mortina. Samuel, because she had asked him from the Lord, Vince because he is named after one of the ancestors who met a tragic end, which is another story in itself. Her dream has come true, her hopes are fulfilled, her heart overflows, “Sleep, my baby, sleep! You are my little treasure, I love you more than I thought possible!”

Clouds

Victoria watches her sister in law from the corner of her eye. It is only when her muscles start to tremble that she realises that doing a bendy dog whatever, and staring, eavesdropping, at the same time is not what yoga was made for. She straightens up, and does another move, who knows what it’s called. She is not into yoga at all, but needs to stay fit and trim, healthy…

She breathes out, more a sigh than a breath, and leans over, to hide her tears, hoping they won’t actually let go of her eyelashes and drop onto the mat. “How sad my life has become,” she sniffs, “when did that happen?” Then she takes another breath, and speaks to herself in a totally different voice, “Come on Victoria, what is going on? Having your surname changed isn’t the same as having a total personality makeover, old girl! You know you’re fine, you love Chris…mostly…well when he is in one of his rare happy moods anyway. Oh dear, here we go, right, try that one again: you love Chris, you get on really well with your kind cousin, you get on pretty well with your cousin’s wife Tabitha, the inlaws are ok, ehm, well, come on woman, keep counting your blessings!”

She sighs, this really isn’t working at the moment. It should though, she is normally such an optimist. Getting married, moving in, they are big events, and then that awful disease, Llama Flu, that hit cousin Richard…she shudders, and can still feel the stress, the fear, right deep inside her. She thinks back to those days, straight after their double wedding, and can still picture Tabitha’s face, eyes, staring, fear vibrating off her in huge waves. She was so scared herself as well. She has always been very fond of strong cousin Richard, and moving into this household didn’t seem such a massive deal with him under the same roof. The idea of him so ill, and possibly dying, scared her witless, as by then she was starting to get tiny inklings of the support she might need and want.

The first tiny ripples in her Pond of bliss came during the Wedding Event itself, and were totally unexpected. She was feeling regal and beautiful in her white wedding gown, Chris looked smashing in his tux, smile in place as it had been all during their courtship, engagement and still was now in the wedding. The change in his face came when they discussed having a family. She thought it was a nice intimate thing to chat about, you know, test the waters a bit, try and get onto the same page if possible.

She was not prepared for the dramatic shift in his mood though. “Kids?” he had growled, yes, growled! His voice sounded weird and angry and…scary! “What do you want to talk about kids for? We’re not even married, are we? Can’t I just enjoy you for a while, you know, just me and you, without having little kids crawling all over the place? Do you know how much energy and time they suck up? How can I concentrate on my calling with demanding kids around?”

He had stormed off, leaving her standing near the arch, too shocked to speak, too bewildered to move! Was this Chris? The same guy she had spent all that time with, the happy, smiley, charming guy? She had gone inside, trying to look busy and involved, smiling at the others, hoping that they hadn’t registered Chris’ absence. He had been back after half an hour, charming as ever, smiling at her, as if nothing had happened. She struggled, couldn’t change faces that quickly! He had been annoyed, she remembered, and had actually rolled his eyes at her!

“I’m here now, and talking to you, aren’t I?” he had sighed like a martyr, “I know you’re trying to make me feel guilty, and you probably feel I should be grovelling before you, begging your acceptance or whatever. Well, I won’t. I think it’s dreadful the way you try to manipulate me into apologies!”

She could feel her face going hot, even now, thinking back about the incident. “I should have known,” she mumbles whilst stretching the other way, “I should have run a mile then and there! I didn’t, I was sure it was just nerves.” It soon became clear that nerves were nothing to do with it, for as soon as they were securely married, he changed. In fact, Victoria hardly recognised him most of the time. When she mentioned it to her Mum, she had just smiled at her.

“Most men change once they are married, dear. There is nothing to worry about, I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s probably nervous as well, and with cousin Richard so desperately ill, well, no wonder Chris is a bit unsettled!”

Victoria had felt very alone, sure that it wasn’t just the normal change in a man after he has gotten married. She felt the change was too monumental for that, it was like a totally different man altogether. They way he glowered from morning till night, and sneered when she talked to him, dismissing anything she said offhand. Also, she felt sick and tired of his victim stance after just a few weeks. “Honestly, if he mentions Injustice or Restoring a Great Wrong one more time, I might just scream! It’s amazing how he manages to bring it up so many times a day! He is just obsessed with the whole idea of bringing justice for this ancestor, for restoring whatever went wrong. All it means is that one guy didn’t see his children take over the house. Not particularly a massive deal with this house if you ask me!”

After a while the constant moans and groans from Chris were starting to get to Victoria, something she would never have thought possible. He is so paranoid, she whispers whilst trying to get herself into a triangle shape. No wonder I’m getting paranoid too! Where has the real Victoria gone? She walks off quickly, and pretends to go to the gold bathroom. She washes her face, spending as much time as possible in the bathroom, whilst trying to find her smile back. “I mustn’t give in,” she whispers sternly to the pale face staring back at her in the mirror, “I really mustn’t give in. Or give up hope for that matter. I’m sure he’ll change back sometime, I’m sure I can help him, after all, without children he won’t be able to undo the whole ancestor thing, will he? He needs children, I just wished he wouldn’t be so hateful all the time…”

Watching Tabitha and Richard have their sweet daughter Eva had made things worse. As soon as Eva was born and started to get too big for the bassinet she had mentioned having a family again to Chris. He had exploded with rage, leaving her in tears. When he had calmed down enough to stop yelling he had justified his aversion against children. “Can’t you see how Tabitha dotes on that child? Can’t you see how she smiles at her, hugs her, and only has eyes for the girl? What about Richard? What husband wants to share his wife? I don’t want you to look at another person like that. I want you to only look at me in that way!”

After that he had become more and more suspicious. “Why are you so keen to have a family?” he had asked. “Have you got plans or something? Have a handful of kids, and then rush back to your fancy mansion, taking my children with you? Is it that I’m not good enough for you? Do you need children to make you feel better?”

Victoria had tried to placate him, making it worse. “Of course not, Chris, I love you, you know that? I really didn’t mind giving up the Knight house for you, I’d follow you anywhere, to any sort of house!”

That had not gone down well, she still grimaces thinking about the storm that had broken over her head at those words. Chris in tears, sobbing that nobody loved him, that he was never accepted for who he was, that even Victoria now said that his house wasn’t good enough for her and that she only lived here out of duty, sacrificing everything for Chris. Didn’t she know how that made him feel, why was she so hateful, manipulating him, forcing him to spend more and more hours at the office in order to earn a high enough salary to satisfy Victoria’s demands?

She stands on the pink yoga mat, and can still feel the shakes, and the cringing feeling in her stomach. What could she say to that? He hasn’t said very much about it since then. She has seen his mood deteriorating though, especially since Theodore was born a few weeks after the incident. Victoria daren’t bring the subject of children up again. She knows with the bassinet filled up, she won’t be able to have a child anyway. What is the good of setting Chris off again?

She struggles through the next few moves, watching Tabitha, feeling despair licking at the edges of her heart. Tabitha, about to have another sweet baby, smiling, and obviously on top of life, enjoying time with Richard and their beautiful children. A third child! “It is so unfair,” she groans, “so unfair, I could just cry for weeks. Why should they have three, and I can’t even have one? Not by choice either, at least not my choice! I can see them looking at me, wondering why we haven’t asked for the bassinet before. I have to smile at them, pretend life is hunky-dory, and our marriage is wonderful and living in this house is like…like living in a bed of roses. I miss my mansion, I miss my family, the beautiful carpets, the bubble blower, friends popping in and out. All I have is a miserable husband, too grumpy for words, sour and bitter, only concerned with his Destiny, mumbling about justice, never once thinking of anybody else…”

“I am desperate, Lord, I am so desperate to just have a child. I have three traits already, what if times runs out? Lord, please, change something, anything! Change Chris, change me, change whatever is needed, but please God, just give me this one child. I just need something to hold, something warm, something that belongs to me. I need someone to love, unconditionally. I am just so alone, and so unhappy! The worst part is that everybody expects me to smile and be upbeat. I can’t take it anymore, Lord, please help me!”

Victoria wants to trust, to be accepting, even accepting Chris and his bizarre moods and anger issues, but it’s getting harder and harder. She just busies herself with her yoga, hoping it will keep her in shape, keeping her strong enough to carry a little one, even when she will have all her traits if it comes to that! They all are busy with their hobbies most days, and Richard just loves his piano. The sad truth is, Chris loves the piano, he loves the kitchen, and he has chosen writing, because he loves it… The fact is that Chris tends to love whatever somebody else likes, especially when he can’t have it! He chose to be a writer, explaining that it was part of his Destiny, his Quest for Justice, that he would need to let the whole of Sim World know how he was going to rectify the Grave Injustice done to his ancestor. So Tabitha decided to do the cooking hobby.

“Well, I will need the kitchen a lot as the table is large, and I don’t think it will be a good idea for you to work in the kitchen when I’m trying to concentrate.” He had protested that Tabitha would squash his Gift, and that of course, she wouldn’t understand how important his lifework was, that nobody understood him, least of all his family! He had sulked and moped about for a week or so, until Victoria had chosen the yoga hobby. That had really set him off, exclaiming that he could not cope with being shamed by his wife. He wondered what he had done in his life that made people hate him so much, that all he got from everybody was contempt, and everyone was out to block him on his mission.

Victoria had sighed, then dressed her face in her widest smile, and moved the mat as near the kitchen as she could. She had explained that she had to take up a hobby, and that having a fit, trim, healthy wife would surely be an asset on his Quest. He had grumbled at that, eyeing her suspiciously, studying her bright smile to see if he could spot scorn anywhere. By now, however, Victoria could blank out any hateful or spiteful or disgusted feelings for this man, with a perfection that stunned even herself! He didn’t spot anything, so the grumbling went back down to the normal, daily rumblings, and normality as Victoria had come to know it was restored.

That is, until Richard chose the Piano hobby…! Chris had ranted and raved for ages, furious with Richard for taking up such a creative hobby. “You need a genius to play the piano well, everybody knows that. It should be part of my calling, my destiny, to play the piano. How can I write and put my thoughts into words for the whole world to benefit when someone who didn’t even carry over his Good Upbringing trait is banging away, pretending to be a playful plunker! Right next to my desk too, I can’t even hear my own thoughts or inspiration, and I know he just did it to mock me. He has never liked me, and always tried to belittle my existence in this house, and now he is doing his best to destroy me completely!”

Victoria sighs, she is aware of how much the other do despise Chris. He brought it on himself though, as none of them started out that way. In fact, most of them feel quite sorry for him, the only child of a rather obsessive mother and old father, he didn’t have an easy life as a child. On top of that, his Mum filled his head with talk of his destiny, and how he had to restore justice for his ancestor Chris, and how he was set apart to do great things. No wonder he is odd, and hard to live with… That is no excuse for his obnoxious behaviour though.

“It might be a reason, but not an excuse,” Tabitha had said one evening, Victoria, stretching just outside the kitchen window, heard Tabitha and Richard discuss Chris. “I know he had a tough time, but so do lots of other people. Doesn’t mean to say you can do what you want, and get away with it. I do feel sorry for Victoria, I wonder what…” Her voice had disappeared then, as the two of them had left the kitchen, leaving Victoria to mull over their words. Well, she wonders too, wonders where her sanity can be found again! She twists, bends, stretches…and prays…with all the frantic longings of her heart, “Please Lord, one child, just one child…”

Calm Waters

Tabitha is standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at the Peacock table, trying to think why she had gone into the kitchen in the first place! She looks at the table, looks round, catches sight of two little pigtails, and remembers! The spare nappy bags! Quickly she digs through the drawers where she was sure she had some stashed away, and dashes out of the kitchen the moment she lays hands on them. Great! Now, where is Eva? “Eva, where are you, sweetie, come here quickly, because Mummy needs to check on Theo.”

Tabitha grins to herself, and can feel her smile growing the moment she lifts Eva high up in the air! She has a daughter! A sweet, cheeky toddler, cute little face, little pigtails, auburn hair of course. She still needs to remind herself that it is really true, she has a daughter, and now, in the bassinet there is a little baby. She actually laughs out loud, which sends Eva into a fit of giggles!

“Do you think that’s funny?” She croons, tickling her, “You have no idea how special you are, little one, you really have no idea! One day, when you’re old enough, we will tell you. We will tell you about the miracle that you are, and why we called you Eva. I suppose we will tell you also why your little brother is called Theodore, which means Gift from God. You are, yes, you are, you both are,” she continues, and probably would have continued a lot longer, but for the footsteps coming into the lounge.

Cousin Chris, she groans to herself, just what I need. I wonder how much he heard. I know I shouldn’t care, really, but I do. She looks up, mainly because of Eva, who is looking up with a very confused expression. She never knew that toddlers could look that confused, and it worries her a little. Chris is standing nearby, a scowl making his eyes almost disappear under his bushy eyebrows. “Great way to go, cousin,” he grates out at her, “nice and kind, ha ha. Great to rub it in, as if you’re the only ones favoured by your God. You know, some peace and quiet in the house could also be a gift from God, and that is exactly what I would be enjoying, if your kids didn’t make such a racket.”

With that, he is out of the lounge again, leaving Tabitha almost as confused as Eva. The little girl looks at her face, and Tabitha brings on the sunniest smile she can pull, and they both giggle, and spin round, and play, until Tabitha feels all the anger floating out of the huge latticed windows. She tidies herself up a bit, straightens the lounge, and as she turns to go to the room with the bassinet, she glimpses a shade of red going round the corner. Victoria.

Tabitha’s happiness has a little wobble, she feels so sad for Victoria! After all, the girl grew up in an amazing house, a mansion, richly decorated and furnished, with fun loving people. Now she is living in their cluttered house, as varied in colour as the ‘amazing technicolour dreamcoat’, apart from the amazing bit that is. She wonders if Victoria ever regrets marrying Chris? Not at first of course, as Chris was all smiles and hugs whilst courting her. He dressed immaculately for their wedding, and even for the wedding reception. The pictures show him smiling broadly at Victoria, hugging her, talking to her.

Tabitha tries to think when that changed. She knows that straight after their wedding Richard was diagnosed with Llama Flu. She shivers, like she always does when she thinks of that time. Her stomach still does a flip when she remembers the fear and anxiety of those days. Victoria had been so sweet then, helping her, supporting her and Richard. They had lived in the Granny Annexe for a while, until just before Eva was born. Victoria had suggested they moved back, and she and Chris would live in the Annexe.

Tabitha thinks through the moments they have had, and that is when Richard notices her. He is feeding Theodore when she walks into their room. “You alright?” he asks, looking a bit concerned, but still focussed on his son. His son! He can’t get over it, one moment he is going to live with Llama Flu, and all that entails, the next moment he is the immensely proud father of two children! “You look like you’re thinking,” he smiles at Tabitha, “trying to remember something you needed to do? Bath Eva? Clean Theo? Kiss me?”

Tabitha laughs, honestly, Richard can cheer her up any time! “I was just thinking about Victoria,” she says, “I was trying to remember when Chris stopped being outgoing, smiling, and returned to his usual sulky self. I spotted Victoria walking past the lounge, and I just wondered how she really is doing at the moment. You both grew up in such a lush environment, with so much luxury, it must be hard to leave all that behind.” She looks at Richard, and tries to smile at him. She doesn’t want to sound like she thinks he is ungrateful or materialistic, but she is a realist!

Richard looks at the tasteful blue room, the little boy in his arms, beautiful wife standing in front of him, and his smile reaches from one ear to the other ear, splitting his face in two. “Oh sweetheart, don’t you worry about that, not ever! I have all I need, all I want, you’re the best thing any man can have. I also have two adorable kids, what more would I want? I’m the richest man in Sims Mobile, who cares about stuff? You know, having the Flu helped to get life into perspective. It’s so sweet of you to think about that though, you’re my love!”

Tabitha is relieved, she knows he really means it. He really is the kindest man she could imagine, and to be married to him is, well, amazing doesn’t really do it justice! She looks round the room as well, happy with the blue bedspread… “I’m so glad we have a blue bedspread,” she says with great conviction. Richard straightens up from the bassinet, and stares at her.

“Excuse me?” he hesitates, looking totally confused, “did I miss part of the conversation? I thought we were talking about something different?”

Tabitha laughs, “It’s my wild train of thought,” she jokes, “it just took an unexpected turn. I was thinking about the Llama Flu, and the horror of those days, and how I used to wake up looking at the yellow bedspread. I vowed at one time that I would get rid of it, and never sleep under a stripy yellow bedspread again! Life is so different now, the Llama days seem a different lifetime, something that happened to another generation, and I just thought how grateful I was to have a blue bedspread.”

They laugh, her wild thought patterns a standing joke between them. Tabitha maintains that it helps her in her job, that it makes her a more creative photographer. Richard winds her up, and says that she just uses it as a smart excuse in order to get away with chaotic conversations! They look at each other, holding hands, smiling into each other’s eyes. “Can you remember that party Victoria threw for us? The one straight after Eva was born? Everyone seemed to turn up in yellow! In fact, one of the guests thought they had misread the party invite, and missed the fact that it was supposed to be a yellow party!”

“That was such a wonderful night, and I remember the feeling of your hands, your kisses, when we renewed our vows…It was so special, I was so moved…” Tabitha’s throat isn’t being very cooperative just now, she can only swallow, not speak. “I remember,” she manages to squeak out, “I remember us both promising to love and to hold, to cherish, in everything, in sickness and health… By then we really knew what those words meant, we weren’t just rattling our way through them in order to finish the Event. We meant them. Doesn’t that seem forever ago? But I can still see us both, standing under the arch, you in your canary shirt…” she can’t talk, she is laughing too much now, remembering Richard, by then the picture of health, wearing a ridiculous getup, love radiating off him in huge waves, encapsulating her, captivating her, enveloping her, until they were the only people on Sims Planet, let alone Sims Mobile.

Nothing else mattered, nothing else was needed, just the two of them. She remembers the tiny pitter patter of Eva’s staggering first few steps, and how it had reduced her to tears, overwhelmed with God’s goodness in all their riches.

Looking at the little bassinet, just able to spot a tiny fist waving about, she thinks back to those days, dreaming, floating on the memories. She looks up at her Mr Handsome, and says, in a much more serious voice, “You know, I can’t ever forget those hair raising days, the heartache and grief, but you know, I realise how easy it is to become placid. It is so easy to slide into everyday life, and to just take it all for granted!”

Richard agrees, “Yes, I sort of vowed that I would never take good health for granted again. Most days I do, though, and it’s scarily easy to do so! Life is so full and busy, and we lap it up, and we forget to actually stop and thank God for it. We just live it, love the gifts, enjoy the gifts and use them, and we actually in all our busy moment forget the Giver! It’s only when things go wrong that we look for something or someone to blame. We never blame anyone when things go the way we want them to go… It’s just so easy to do, I mean, life is so amazing, and the days just glide from one day into the next, it’s so surreal after the manic stress and devastating terror of those Llama days!”

Tabitha goes back to the kitchen, thinking about this. Victoria helps her to get dinner ready, and they chat a little in between grilling and stirring. “How are you doing?” asks Tabitha, “I meant to ask you the other day, we just seem to move past each other all the time!”

Victoria smiles, she always smiles thinks Tabitha, and shrugs, “Oh, I have been busy too, although not in the same way as you have of course! The Court is just quite busy at the moment, there have been quite a few parties in town, so that always brings extra work of course.” Tabitha grimaces and nods, parties can be like that. Looking at Victoria’s cute pixie like face, she realises that she could actually listen to Victoria’s voice for ages, it’s so sweet!

“I saw your friends quite a while ago, you know, the guy with the cowboy hat? They came in to register their daughter’s birth! It can’t have been that long before Eva was born, it was definitely around the time of…of…well, you know, that awful time, when everyone in town was so worried. Penny they called her, so sweet! She really is a cute little girl, and they are so happy! They were both at the Celebration Party as well, you know, after…after…” Victoria’s melodious voice actually harpers a bit, Tabitha notices in shock, “They said they had someone keeping an eye on Penny, and they took it in turn to pop back home to double check. I wonder if they have had another baby yet, or whether they will just have the one. Its such a responsibility, you know, so I can understand about families with just one child. Seems a tiny bit sad for the child though, if you know what I mean. Also, it’s then easy to put all your hopes and expectations on the one child, which could be awkward, like with…” she stops, blushes a bit, and turns to the microwave, “Oh, this one is done, I just love how you can nuke things quickly!”

Tabitha is a bit dazed after all that, and grins in herself, “I know I said I could listen to her sweet clear voice all day? Well, I think I just did…!”

Victoria breezes out of the kitchen once they’re finished, smiling, and chattering to Adrianna. Tabitha looks at the two of them disappearing off to some project no doubt, Mum loves projects, an Victoria always seems to have a surplus of energy… I wish I could borrow some, at least till Theo sleeps through the night… Interesting that she suddenly stopped though, when talking about small families. Maybe she isn’t as happy as she looks. After all, Chris is Mr Awkward at the best of times, with his longsuffering attitude…with the stress on suffering… Honestly, I’m sure he just looks for opportunities to become the victim of something or other! I wonder what they think about our children? I have seen Victoria watching, smiling as usual, and Chris seems to glare every time they make a noise. I just wonder…poor Victoria,, I hope she really is alright?

Celebrations

The voice outside her bedroom has stopped, the phone call ended, the silence smothering her, making it hard to breath. The door to the Granny Annexe opens, she can tell by the way shoes are scraped on the mat that Richard has come in. Will he come to this side of the divider and tell her what the phone call was about? She can hear his steps coming over, and through the divider she can see his tall form, looking incredible weary. Her heart sinks. The phone call must have been bad news. She leans back into the pillows, clutching the yellow bedspread as tight as she can, to stop herself from crying out, from breaking down. If that was bad news, then Richard will need a strong wife to help him through this storm.

Richard comes round the blue divider, looks at her, and almost throws himself on her. “Oh Tabitha,” he weeps, “Oh Tabitha, that was Dr Dean himself. There is hope, there really is hope! I will need to get to the EA Hospital straight away, bringing my ID number, and Letter of Introduction, he will take photos, and review my case! He says not to despair, that it’s amazing what they can do, and he sympathised with me, saying how awkward it must feel to be a doctor and not being able to help myself!”

He clutches her, sobs shaking his broad muscular shoulders, his broad chest heaving, breathing big gasps of air. “I have been so scared, so worried! I love you so much, I am desperate to have a life with you, I want a family with you, to be all that a husband should be, protecting you, supporting you, cherishing you…instead I’m dying on you! I feel so guilty, so devastated, and now…there is hope, I can finally see this minuscule speck of light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel!”

Getting dressed, getting bags packed, getting transport, getting to the Hospital…Tabitha sighs, so much getting, rushing, moving around. Now they are at the huge EA Hospital, and it has turned into a waiting game. Dr Dean’s secretary has taken their details, ID number, Letters, papers. They have been for photos, and the results were through to the Doctor already, she assured them. There is nothing to be done but wait. Tabitha looks at Richard, waiting patiently in the uncomfortable chair next to her. He looks exhausted! First the party, then that phone call and all the emotions that call brought to the surface, then the mad scrambling about, and now…nothing. No wonder he looks past it!

Finally they get to see Dr Dean. He is very kind and confident, lively and with a great sense of humour. Tabitha is amazed, she found most doctors lose their sense of humour after seeing to many patients, worn down by people’s grumbles and complaints. He tells them that there is definitely hope, and that he might be able to do a Reversal, if necessary, but that he will need a little more information. He gives them a list with information he will need, and a note for the ward where Richard will need to stay overnight, as well as the usual stack of permission papers to sign.

The ward is light and tastefully decorated, based on the second floor, with large windows at the end of each room. Richard installs himself, glad to be able to rest. Tabitha fusses around, refreshing his water, straitening his blanket, moving things, fiddling…until he asks her to just sit, and rest! Tabitha lowers herself in the chair, feeling herself shaking inside, her nerves taut as a tightrope. She just wants to know the outcome, wants the procedure done, wants Richard well!

Late in the afternoon, when Tabitha realises that she will need to get back home soon, the door to Richard’s ward opens, and a doctor comes in, a lady doctor. She is very kind looking, smiles, introduces herself and explains why she is here. “I have looked at your case, and I can see that there are 16 t-shirts missing. We will try and reverse that, of course, but I will just need to look into it a bit more.”

Tabitha and Richard are stunned. T-shirts? Missing? Does she mean he hasn’t got Llama Flu, but just a clothes allergy? “You mean…you mean, if I just wear a different type of clothes, I will actually be alright?” Richard stammers, utterly confused.

The lady doctor smiles, and says, “Well, that might work. You could try it, and see if it works?”

Tabitha speaks up then, her voice strained, lips feeling like rubber and out of her control, “We tried that! We tried it lots of times! As soon as he arrived somewhere new though, the symptoms all came back! I’m sure, we’re sure, it’s a lot more serious than can be fixed by different clothes. I know allergies can be devastating, debilitating, but this seems to be very different from an allergic reaction!”

The doctor listens, makes some notes, and agrees to look into the case a bit more, but she explains that if there is a fundamental disease at work, there might not be much modern EA medicine can do to help. They might just have to learn to live with the bug, or not live as the case may be.

Tabitha leans back in the chair, too shocked to hear or see anything. She barely registers the lady doctor saying goodbye and leaving the ward. She doesn’t hear the nurse telling all visitor to go and let the patients rest. She is just lost to the world, utterly devastated. No hope after all. Richard will always be in Sims Mobile, no traits, never really part of the family, and no friends, for his disease makes it impossible for people outside the family to interact with him properly. He will be living in the house for many generations, seeing them, hearing them, but never really part of them. How absolutely ruinous this disease is, destroying their lives, their dreams…

She finally staggers from the hospital, blinded by tears, her face wet, her heart crushed and grinded to pieces. No hope! No hope, her heart beats with each step. She can’t remember how she got back home, but somehow she finds herself in the little Granny Annexe, in the big double bed with the yellow bedspread. How she hates that bedspread by now, determined to buy another bedspread as soon as she can! Any colour but yellow, she thinks, her head spinning, thoughts floating round and round, making her feel nauseous. She leans back in the pillows, turning them every now and then when the cascading tears have soaked the pillowslip too much.

When morning comes, Tabitha drags herself out of bed, gets dressed, and prepares herself for the hospital visit, her thoughts drifting through shops selling black outfits. “I will need a mourning dress, and some black every day clothes,” she thinks, exhaustion making her walk slower than ever. She gets to the hospital though, of course she does, however much she wished she didn’t have to be there yet, to just postpone the inevitable a little longer. There is no delaying the meeting though, and soon she is standing by Richard’s bedside. He looks so handsome, yet so poorly, she thinks. Richard clearly hasn’t slept either, the grief in his eyes nearly her undoing.

The door opens, they turn round, and there is Dr Dean! He smiles at them, shakes hands, and sits down at the side of the bed. “I need to apologise,” he begins, “something went wrong yesterday, a bit of a misunderstanding I’m afraid, so don’t worry about my colleague’s explanation. Anyway, I have reviewed your case again myself, and I am convinced that we can do the Reversal. That has some consequences, as you can imagine, but it should also lead to your full and total recovery, if the procedure is successful, that is.”

Tabitha gasps, Richard grips her hand, and both of them stare at the doctor, hope springing up in their hearts again, tears forming, happy tears! They smile at each other, and agree to have the procedure done immediately. It won’t take very long, and hopefully the effect will not be too devastating. “Richard will need to stay in overnight, for observation, to check that the Flu is definitely gone. If he seems clear he may go home, and you will need to observe him there for a day as well. Once he had been clear for the day, he should be recovered fully.” Tabitha wondered how the doctor saw ‘full recovery’, whether there would be any aftereffects of the Flu, any permanent damage… She didn’t really want to ask though, I mean, she couldn’t, could she! He had just given them a ticket to life, so how could she moan about details, and wanting more than was given them?

She wondered though. She wondered all through the operation, when Richard came back to the ward, looking himself, and feeling better already. The doctor said that he was quite sure that the Reversal had been successfull, but obviously only time would tell. Tabitha went home, and still wondered. Richard came home the next morning, having been completely cleared by the Hospital. That evening they knew, they both knew that the dreaded Llama Flu had been vanquished! Yes, there had been some cost to it, some small losses, but nothing they couldn’t recover, really. Now he was here, with her, alive and well! Oh joy!

“The honeymoon can start now!” he whispers into her hair that night, “Where would you like to go? I can’t believe it, I really can’t! My heart feels it could burst any moment, I’m so incredibly happy! After the desolation the bad news brought me, I feel total bliss and exhilaration, and…and so much joy!”

Tabitha smiles, and kisses him back, and whispers, “I know, my beloved, I know. I didn’t believe it then, but that night, that horrible excruciating night, when the lady doctor had taken all hope away from us, a verse came into my heart. I dismissed it, too grieved to even believe it possible. After all, she had been pretty sure of herself, and seemed very smart and competent, so I had no reason to believe this whisper in my heart. It said, ‘Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.’ I was too sad to listen, but it was right! That still, small voice was right, and I am so glad! I’m just overflowing with gratefulness, and I can’t wait to glide through life at your side!”

The honeymoon was glorious, and all that honeymoons are made for, joy bubbling from hem like a spring, infecting everyone around them. Their happiness knew no bounds it seemed, and life was the golden dream that Tabitha had so wished for. They didn’t think anyone in Sims Mobile could be happier than they were, that they had really bumped into the ceiling of joy.

They were wrong. It turned out that joy could grow a lot more, as it did, in sync with Tabitha’s belly! They were expecting a baby, and Tabitha didn’t have to wonder anymore. When Dr Dean had said there would be a full recovery, he really meant it! They were going to be parents, they were having a family after all! Tabitha cried so many happy tears that her Mum started to worry. “I’m sure all these tears can’t be very good for the baby,” she said rather disapprovingly one afternoon, “I think you might have to deal with your happiness in a better way, my dear.”

The months flew by, and then there was the big day, when Richard and Tabitha were able to show their daughter to the world! They named her Eva, ‘the mother of all living’ Tabitha had said, smiling, and crying again, of course! “She is our miracle baby, the blessing we thought we would never have. We feel so, so utterly rich.” She kissed the tiny face, overwhelmed with God’s goodness to them. Yes, they were definitely dancing on the mountaintops again, and not ever would they take any blessing for granted, but would always carefully count them, one by one!

Friends

Slowly sounds and smells creep into Tabitha’s consciousness. She feels warm, cocooned, safe and protected. The smell becomes stronger and stronger, a good smell, a good quality smell, a smell powerful enough to make you open one eye, and peek. She looks at the wallpaper, the yellow stripy bedspread… Tabitha opens both eyes, closes them again as the light is way too bright. Squinting, she looks round to locate the wonderful smell…ah! Her coffee. Lovingly provided by her sweet husband.

She drags herself into a sitting position, slowly, her pulse banging a arrhythmic rhythm in her head, like a third rate nightclub gone bad. She groans quietly, shuffles and snuggles until she is comfortable, and reaches for her coffee. “Mmmm, bliss! Just what I needed!” she sighs, contentedly. “I know this headache is mainly self-inflicted, but even so…nothing like a good, strong coffee to cure everything.” She pulls a face at that, when her words register with her half sleeping brain. A cure for everything that is but Llama Flu.

She sniffs the coffee, hugging the mug, looking round at the wallpaper of the Granny Annexe, where she and Richard are now living. Seeing that they will probably just meander through life, no children, no traits in Richard’s case, just plain boring old couple, so why not put the in the Granny Annexe already? She can feel the tears, but manages to swallow them down with some more coffee. Looking at the coffee she remember the little Dutch tile on her friend’s house: “A man must be as coffee, Good, Strong and Warm” it said. She smiles, too true!

Thinking of friends makes her think of the previous night. What a night it was! She had dreaded it, worried about it, fretted over it, until she was exhausted before the party even started! The worst thing was, she and Richard were expecting a message from the Hospital Specialist at moment, which made it very hard to concentrate. She did enjoy her gorgeous dress though, with beautiful necklace complementing her eyes. She had fussed, and kept looking at herself, until she thought of her friend quoting that beautiful song by Eric Clapton, called Beautiful Tonight.

It was so true, she smiles at the memory, they were like that last night, wondering if she looked alright. Richard smiling, saying it was fine… Knowing it could be one of the last parties to go to ever made it extra special. Knowing that the handsome husband at her side might never be at her side again made her fuss, she admits. She was so worried, not just about how she looked, but that she would do him proud. Richard was feeling terribly unwell, but was determined to make it to the party. He was wearing a tux, looking as strong and handsome as ever. She wanted him to be proud of her, to feel that he could show her off a bit, to have a grand party, just in case it was his last!

How she struggled though! People arrived soon after everything was set up, the cake and huge flowers in the foyer. They took some pictures of the two of them, as well as of Chris and Victoria. She loved Victoria’s gown, white with bits of pink. Victoria looked stunning, and well put together. She sighed, and remembered how hard it had been even then in the foyer, before the party had even started, to not cry. She had felt so jealous! Grumpy Chris, married to stunning Victoria, both healthy young people, probably ready to have a honeymoon baby. Standing next to her and Richard, who might not live long enough to see the end of the honeymoon, and who would never be able to give her a honeymoon baby. Any baby for that matter, not even an adopted one. Tears come then, in spite of the comfort of her soft bed and hot coffee.

She remembers her brave smile, and Richard’s strong arm round her. That helped, and by the time the first guests arrived she was ready for them. She blushes a little then, thinking of how wild she had been at the chess set. What had she been thinking, explaining a game in such a ridiculous way! How embarrassing, what with some very distinguished guests, like Greta Garbo around! Never mind, better than hiding in the bathroom, like she did later that evening… She just needed the break, the music and happy chatter getting to her. She had looked into the gold star mirror, and cried and cried…

Her mum, Adrianna had found her there, and she had poured out her heart to her mum, which really helped. They chatted a while, and she had rejoiced the party. She feels herself relaxing as she remembers one of the guests. Very beautify, and wearing lovely clothes, she was also named Victoria, very confusing that was, Victoria McDonnell. She had been so sweet and kind to her! She had found her in the main bedroom, having a secret peek at the bassinet, and of course, Victoria knew about Richard, about the Llama Flu. Rather than brush it off, or trying to cheer her up with well meaning platitudes, she had really listened to her. She had comforted her, just by being there, and by looking her straight in the eye, listening, nodding, Victoria’s face mirroring hers.

“Wow, she was so kind and amazing,” breathes Tabitha, “I wonder when I will see her next…” for one awful moment the word ‘funeral’ trails through her brain. No, she won’t allow that thought! No, she has to keep hold of hope, grasping it with both hands, cherishing it like this hot mug of coffee. That is one of the things Victoria counselled her to do, to not give up hope, rather than live her life grieving something that may not even happen!

The party had actually been pretty good fun, she smiles, breathing in the smell of coffee; great fun in fact. Many details seem a bit fuzzy, probably to do with the drinks fountain, but she remembers the overall atmosphere. Every now and then she caught sight of Richard, smiling, chatting to people. Only she could tell that he really wasn’t feeling well. Once she saw him sitting on one of the little round cushions they had won, and oh dear, he looked so very, very sad. She thought her heart might break! Her sweet darling husband, looking like a broken man, a drowning man, a man without any hope.

She had quickly left the room, gone to chat outside the kitchen wall, to…well, she can’t even remember now! Kiera, I think her name was, she mumbles, Kiera something. I probably remember her, blue hair, short top, bit of a live wire… Glad I’m married to Richard, and even gladder that he has no interest in females at this time! In fact, scanning in her mind’s eye through the guests that were there last night, she can actually think of some blessings to count on that score…! Mind you, they were amazing friends though! Bristol had chatted with her a lot, in fact, they became quite good friends in just one evening! Vivien Leigh came to mid, she was so kind! “I can’t believe it,” she says to herself, with awe in her voice, “she is an amazing looking woman, yet she spent a lot of time with Mum that evening! She really cheered her up, Mum said she had been so kind and understanding, haha, even Mum couldn’t believe it!”

She giggles to herself as she thinks back to the time when she’d come out of the Granny Annexe, eyes still a bit tender from all the tears, to find Richard dancing with some girls! Hilarious! She actually laughs out loud, nearly spilling her coffee, as she tries to imitate some of the dance moves used…Honestly, there should be a proper dace academy in Sims Mobile! Any self respecting town, with so many parties as well, should have some top notch dance teachers! That dancefloor is great, but the dancing…!

Her hilarity ebbs away though, as another memory from the dancefloor comes to mind… The microphone had been placed on the dancefloor, to help any impromptu DJs, or singers or whatever. This time the memory is one of herself, holding the microphone, singing, her voice sounding hoarse and choked up, rasping out, ‘Who Wants to Live Forever?’, desperately trying to not break down. Truth is, she does! Or rather, she and Richard do. Maybe not forever, but just to live a normal life, just them two together, to love, to hold, to cherish…to have a family, and to live a full and rich life!

“Heaven will be forever,” she sighs, “I know that, but this life? I wanted to make this life count too, Lord. Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to be sad when life is slipping away from my sweetheart? Is it wrong to want to hold onto him just that bit longer, and to live, not forever of course, but to live to a good, ripe old age?” She knows it’s not wrong, of course it’s not. Her desperation and fierceness and demanding health and life and strength? Mmm, that might be different matter…

She pulls a face, yes, I know I’m a desperate woman, who is ambitious and probably demanding as well. I know I take things to heart. She feels her face grow warm as she remembered how a good part of the Wedding Reception she had been standing in the kitchen, staring at the highchair, working herself up into a state! Oh dear, I am a bit silly, she grimaces, I do need to practise a bit more self control I think.

Mind you, one of the guests, Ginamarie could do with some as well, the way she and some of the other girls behave…or Tyler for that matter… She pushes all guilty feelings away, “I know I’m being judgmental, but seriously, some of them go too far,” she says defensively. “They play with lives of others, and they play hard, I have never seen people more competitive than that lot last night!” she says, remembering them playing a game together. Richard was there, laughing, and seemingly totally relaxed. Actually, it had been quite funny, she thinks, softening, memories marching past her one by one.

The party had finished very late, but all of the Mortinas had managed to make it till the end, even Richard. She laughs, as she remembers the end of the party: they were all standing in the foyer together, waving and yawning rudely at the same time! Good grief, what would their friends think! Especially as some were so well to do…

The party had been better than she had expected, really. Having her friends round, all dressed in wonderful style, was such a comfort. It had helped to divert them a bit as well, although she knew that Richard kept checking his phone, hoping, praying the specialist would contact him, and give him some hope. By the time they crawled into bed in the Annexe there was still no message, nothing. She wondered if that was a good sign or a bad sign?

Her friends had all assured her they were thinking of them, that they were empathising with them, and all of them said how sad they were, and how they hoped some help could be found. Tabitha stares at the divider at the end of her bed, and wonders where Richard is. He obviously made the coffee, so he must be around somewhere. She goes quiet, and then she can hear him. He is on the phone! Is it the doctor, what’s his name, Dr Dean? Will there be hope? Is the man just bringing more bad news, even though she can’t imagine what else could go wrong. Apart from the very worst that is, but she just cannot bring herself to go there, praying fervently that it will not come to that. When will they know? Come on, Richard, how long can a phone call take?!

Shadows

Tabitha is hiding in the golden bathroom. Her eyes are sore, her nose is red, her face wet with tears. How can life go so badly wrong in such a short time? She sobs and sobs, trying to stifle them as much as possible, for fear that Richard will hear. Richard! That brings on a new flood of tears. “Oh, Richard,” she groans “my Richard! My wonderful, strong, handsome Knight in shining armour! What am I going to do? What can we do?”

Just a day or so ago Tabitha had been dancing on the mountaintop of life. Her heart was fit to burst, her cup was overflowing. She and Richard couldn’t have been happier, their future together stretching out as an endless golden dream. Now, in just the blink of an eye, their future looks a black gaping abyss.

Tabitha looks round her beautiful bathroom, all golden and shiny. What she wouldn’t give to have her dreams restored and polished till they shone again, too. Never, when going through all the worries about getting engaged and getting married, having to share her life and bed with a virtual stranger, never for once did she imagine this. Sure, arranged marriage is a huge gamble, it could lead to heartache and all sorts of issues. Sure, there is a lot of unfaithfulness, even in Sims Mobile, but Tabitha hadn’t banked on this. This horror, this…this unimaginable horror.

All was well during the wedding event, in spite of it lasting for ages. The sweet times together still play in her mind, in spite of their bittersweet aftertaste. The event did last, and last, and at one point Richard changed back into his green superhero suit. Tabitha stayed in her wonderful dress, it made her feel the queen of the house, even if it was just for a limited time! They discussed all sorts of things. They confessed all sorts of things. Tabitha confessed that she had toyed with the idea of just getting eloped; Richard didn’t like that idea!

The tears subside a bit whilst Tabitha is replaying the wedding, and the wonderful tender times they had. Until she remembers that conversation about having a family, planning how many children they were going to have. Tabitha slides down on the cool bathroom tiles, crying as if her heart will break. Children! They were going to have a house full of them, filling the little bassinet as quickly as it would empty! They had dreamed together about playing with their children, playing with the castle, watching them draw, encouraging them, praising them.

Tabitha cries and cries, until she is totally spent, and can not possibly cry anymore. She can’t get off the floor, she is too worn out. She doesn’t care about her wonderful career, she doesn’t care about the beautiful wedding dress she managed to buy. She doesn’t care about life anymore. What sort of life is it, anyway, which lies ahead? Bleak, empty, dark…never ending…

Once the wedding event was over, and they were officially pronounced husband and wife, life soon went back to normality. All four of them, as Chris and Victoria were married by now as well, went to work on the Luxury Events. They had totally neglected these as their courtships and weddings had taken top priority. Now that they were all four happily married, and both Victoria and Richard had been allowed to move in, it was time to resume normality.

That was when disaster struck, or rather, when the effects of the disaster became apparent. Tabitha stares ahead, not seeing the sparkling bath, or anything else for that matter. All she can see is the horror, the dread, the shock on her beloved’s face. Richard had gone to the restaurant to do the event there, she was at home, doing the Leisure event. First there had been a very garbled message from Jalisa Key. Jalisa is the manager at the restaurant, another one of the ancient workers that never seem to retire. According to Jalisa, Richard had collapsed, and was in fact beyond recognition.

Tabitha had absolutely no idea what Jalisa was talking about, the woman sounded completely out of breath as well as out of sense. She tried to get her off the phone as quickly as she could, just a little worried, wondering if the move and long wedding had been more tiring than they had realised. Tabitha wasn’t over concerned, as Richard was a very competent doctor, as well as young and strong, his muscles bulging under his wedding shirt!

Until she saw him, standing on the doorstep. Her world caved in, and everything went black. When Tabitha came round, she was on the bed in the Granny Annexe, a sad Lancelot and Adrianna by her side. She could tell that Adrianna had been crying, and she couldn’t remember her Dad ever looking so sad! “What happened?” she asked, then it all came flooding back in her mind. Her darling Richard, looking like a pink blob, standing on the doorstep, looking more distraught than she had thought possible. Her handsome, powerful husband, with his kind eyes and ready smile, reduced to a blob. It was beyond comprehension.

Richard knew what it was, of course. So did her Uncle Sebastian. They explained it to her, much later, when she was recovered of her initial shock. They all sat down in the Granny Annexe, looking sad, although for now Richard had recovered a little, looking just like his normal self. Tabitha looked at him, his strong arms, his eyes sparkling, just like he had looked for the last days or so whilst courting her, marrying her. Hope crept into her heart, she allowed it to sneak in quietly. Surely it couldn’t be that bad, with him looking the picture of health and manliness?

All her hopes were dashed though, and she felt her heart disintegrating with each sentence. The one word that started the destruction of her dreams was ‘Llama Flu’, and all hope fled from her heart. Llama Flu, the dreaded disease that Sims Mobile Hospital had been battling for centuries! The best doctors over the years had tried various vaccines, but nothing seemed to completely eradicate it. The vaccines prevented some of the cases, and in fact, she couldn’t remember having heard of a single case. Until now, that is.

She had heard of people displaying some of the symptoms: no growth in Traits, not retiring, not being able to move out… Nobody had ever told her about a single person having a full blown case of Llama Fly, though. Now it was here, in town, in her house, in her family. Her sweet, sweet husband was struck down with it! Tabitha closes her eyes, covering her face with her hands, and sobs.

Nothing in life has prepared her for this. There had been no warning, no way of knowing. No way of dealing with it either, it seems… She is utterly heartbroken, and looking at her wonderful husband, it is impossible to picture them together in the garden, wearing a white dress and a tux, whispering, laughing, kissing…

She cries out, wails, shrieks, clings onto him with all her might, their tears mixing whilst they kiss each other wildly, desperately, two young people crushed by the weight of calamity. Time stands still whilst they weep together, but eventually the cries subside, tears run dry, desperation turns into utter sadness. Richard looks at his sweet wife. He has come to really love and care for her, however independent she might be! He had been insanely happy during the wedding, eager to pack his bags and move in with his dearest Tabitha. Now all that seemed a dream, and the awakening had been abrupt and rude, shattering the dream, leaving just a faint memory of it.

“I’m sorry, my love, my sweetest Tabitha,” he whispers, his throat sore from crying, “I’m so, so sorry, more than I could ever express. I’m so sad on your account, having married a useless husband…My greatest wish was to provide for you, to take care of you the way you deserve…” He can’t speak anymore, his throat closed up, tears, new tears finding their way down his face.

Tabitha shushes him, putting a shaking hand on his lips. “Shhhh, my beloved, shhhh, Mr Handsome. I still love you, like I promised, ‘In sickness and in health’, and nothing will change that.” She swipes at some tears that managed to escape her eyes. “I love you, and to me you will always be my own special Mr Handsome. We will get through this, we are still together, you will still have good moments, as well as…as…” her voices quivers and almost breaks, but she won’t allow it to, “it won’t be easy, I know that but together we will make it, I promise!”

That was yesterday, and Tabitha still means it. The thing that almost hurts the most is the fact that not only does he regularly turn into a useless pink blob, he is also unable to give her any children. Not only are they unable to bear children naturally, Richard suffering from Llama Flu also excludes them from adopting children! The grief over that was almost Tabitha’s undoing. When her Uncle had explained the infertility issue, Tabitha had taken it quite calmly. In fact, she had thought by herself, “Oh well, there are other ways of growing a family. Surely it’s just a sad consequence, but not totally the end of our large family dreams.” Turns out that she was wrong. It was the end of her large family dreams, any family dreams in fact.

The most hurtful in the whole thing had been Chris’ remark the following day. It was that remark that made her flee to the safety of the bathroom, and open the floodgates of her heart. Chris had looked at her sad face, and remarked, “Seems like you needed those prayers after all! Seems like you can’t even get married without a little extra help. On the other hand, maybe if you hadn’t relied on your God, this might not have happened…!”

She had been so shocked, so utterly speechless, that all she could do was stagger to the bathroom, and lean against the wall, carefully avoiding all mirrors. Now she is here, in this bathroom, worn out, alone. She carelessly wonders what time it is, she does still have a job, after all! She sighs, nothing makes sense. Was Chris right after all?

Tabitha sits up straight, remembering the despair her Aunt Guinevere had been in, and how she had overcome all that. She was the one who had brought God into Tabitha’s life, and Tabitha would cling to Him now, in her despair.

She leans her head on her knees, wondering if she would ever feel a semblance of happiness again. Would she ever smile again, properly smile that is? Soon the wedding reception will be here, she will have to wear her special gown, smile, greet guests…Could she cope with their pitying looks, their whispers or well meaning advice? Part of her shakes and trembles, and shrieks ‘No’, but then, from deep in her heart, she hears the tiny whisper, ‘Yes, yes, you can do it, you’re not alone, not ever! Not on top of the mountain, not in the deepest valley. You will never be deserted, you will never be forsaken. You will be carried through the hardest parts of life. Never will you be alone!’

Tabitha sighs, it’s not going to be easy, but it is going to be possible. She needs her friends, their kindness and sympathy, and Richard? He needs her too, he needs her to be strong and brave and to love him through this deepest of valleys! She can do it, yes, she can do it!. Now…what about shoes…and jewellery? Should she wear makeup…or not…? No time to lose, the reception will be here before she is ready at this rate!