illness – Vicarious Living

Camilla

“Mum, when will you two retire? Surely the Gems will be here soon, so how long after that will you step down?” Camilla’s beautiful face is spoilt by the pout; she looks at her mum expectantly. Miriam laughs, but is doesn’t sound anything like her loud, hearty one. It is a rather sad one, the hurt vibrating through it, as she looks at her eldest daughter. Several sons have gone and left the house already, making their own way in SiMobile. Ursula has gone as well, and now Camilla is desperate to go, but not into the unknown, but to the Snow household. Camilla heard about Brandon, and very early on she has been promised to him in marriage, an arrangement both parents agreed to. Now she is grownup, and impatient to join him, going as far as to ask her mum and dad to step down sooner rather than later!

Miriam sighs, she loves her children, and although in a way she knew this day would come, what with their crazy scheme of populating SiMobile with young people, it still grieves her. She is happy that at least Camilla has a wedding arranged; back to Miriam’s own family home no less! Saying goodbye will still be excruciating though, especially saying goodbye to her daughter. Zahra will still be here, of course, but that thought doesn’t cheer her up too much. Zahra is single, and no young man or his parents have come forward… She never realised how sad this time of her life would be, and how reluctant she would be to let go! In a way she is excited about retirement, but that excitement fades into the background now that she is confronted with the losses that accompany her retirement.

“I don’t know, sweetie, I still have things I like to finish. I know your dad has finished his goals, so he might be more inclined to go straight after Gems arrive. You could ask him,” she says, then wished she could swallow those words back down, as Camille walks off, looking very determined! She finds her dad, and asks him straight out, her face emotionless, totally oblivious to the distress this question brings! All Camilla can think of is the changes she would like to make, and the opportunities she has once she is made Active.

Samuel Vince Mortina looks at his beautiful daughter, and sadness changes his whole face, as he knows what the question means. Is he really ready? Ready to leave the active position, ready to accept that he has done his share in the Mortina Dynasty? Has he really fulfilled his destiny, and restored Justice? He sighs, just like Miriam; when he finishes his shift, his last ever shift, he goes home, looking for his wife. They hug, Miriam has a little cry and Samuel looks like he could do with one himself… “I will accept, love, for I know that Brandon Snow is having his party soon, and Camilla will need to make sure she gets in early… I hope he will be good for her, good to her as well. I know he is related to you, but I have heard that he is a bit of a hippie…I hope Camilla will remember us, and will stay in touch, somehow!”

So Samuel Vince Mortina accepts his retirement papers, turning grey, stooped and old straight away. Camilla’s face lights up, and she can’t wait for the promotion papers to come through, so she can choose an outfit, get a bit of makeup on and just make her own choices! She has it all worked out, studied her mum’s wardrobe so she knows what to wear. To her horror, and everyone else’s in the family, Camilla has a bout of Llama Flu as soon as her promotion comes through! There she is, looking like a Weeble, just as many friends have done recently; no chance of choosing clothes: she’ll be lucky to survive! No man, not even Brandon, would be the slightest bit inclined to marry her… Miriam gasps, and clutches her grey headed husband, doing her best to swallow down the hysterics she can feel worming its way out of her throat… Together they manage to put a brave face on it all, and after some simple treatment Camilla is as well as can be expected! The whole family breathes a sigh of relief that is was the Weebles Strain, and not the Pink Blob one, as that one is so much harder to cure! Camilla cries big tears of gratitude, especially as she hears via a card that Brandon had suffered the same fate, but fully recovered as well. She is so happy, she hugs her mum, dances around, even dresses quite conservatively, like all the Mortinas down the ages have done. Her relief is sweet to see. She can’t wait to meet Brandon, and drives Miriam to distraction with her restlessness; pacing up and down waiting for the party announcement…

The announcement comes, of course, and Camilla is the first guest to arrive, almost before the house is decorated for the party! The party is just to meet up of course, but it does put the whole family under considerable strain, as they are honourable enough to make sure it reaches Level ten status. Camilla is a little shocked by Brandon’s greeting. He doesn’t waste any time, but even outside the house, on the little strip of grass, he greets Camilla in a very flirtatious manner. She blushes wildly, and feels shy, hoping that if she is a bit reticent he will slow things down. Obviously, Brandon doesn’t get the hint, and he sticks to Camilla like a leech all during the party. He leaves the levelling up, the handing out of stickers and greeting the other guests over to his uncle and mum. Brandon clearly has a one track mind, and Camilla is starting to feel a little uncomfortable. She squirms, and gasps as he kisses her soundly in front of all the other party goers; strangers that she has never met before, she doesn’t even know their names! For that matter, even Brandon is like a stranger; she has only just met him after all.

Camilla goes home that night, totally overwhelmed; wondering if this arranged marriage is the biggest mistake ever. She looks at her parents, and envies the fun they have together. Even now, with her father all grey and stooped, her mother’s laugh still brightens up the entire Mortina home. Brightens it up like lightning during a thunderstorm, not once but time and time again. Camilla sighs, “Oh, I’m jealous…jealous of what my parents have! I do like Brandon, he is very arty and clever with a camera, but…but he is so intense! I just wanted to…” She stops, what is it she wanted? She stares ahead in the dark, trying to think back to before her promotion, but it’s all a blur. Probably an after effect from the Llama Flu, she sighs. She does know that things are not really going the way she expected. Brandon is so in her face, it drains her! His dark eyes staring at her with a burning intensity that makes her nervous, as she feels she might say the wrong thing!

She lies down, eyes glued to the ceiling, or where she knows the ceiling to be, rather. She thinks about her near future. Soon Brandon will propose, in fact, she is sure that the very next time she will see him he will start the Proposal event. She sighs, even before their official first date, the one everybody goes on at the little café, even before that he had brought their relationship to level three! He is very pushy, she thinks, and I wasn’t banking on that… My mum has firm ideas, and I thought I was getting my freedom by marrying an artist. Mum isn’t really pushy though, although she is usually very much in love with her own ideas. Brandon…well, Brandon insists on his ideas, in a nice way, but definitely insisting on them… Oh dear, this could be tricky!

The next morning Brandon proposes to her, and Camilla accepts, of course! She is excited as well, as Brandon seems to relax a little now their relationship level is going up steadily. Camilla has a shock when she pops back home though, for Miriam insists on her taking a job! Camilla drops down in the nearest chair, shock written all over her beautiful but proud face. “A job? You want me to take a job? Here, in town, today? Why? Why do I need a job, I mean, Brandon is already doing the Proposal, I’ll be at level eight before I would finish my job! Mum, really?” Miriam however is adamant, even though she is filling out the Acceptance forms for her own retirement.

“You must do all you can to help this family,” she says, voice more determined than Camilla has ever heard her before. “This family has been very good to us all; they took me in, even though at that time the Snow family had only just arrived. We were totally insignificant. They took me in, introduced me to friends, gave me stickers…” She has to swipe at her eyes there, realising that no more stickers will come her way! “You have met several of them, Uncle Magnus’ family for one, and my best friend Lucille Ball…Not to mention myriads of other wonderful and supportive friends. This home has been good to you too, Dad has allowed you to be Promoted, and it is the family’s loss when he did so. He had reached level ten, bringing in a steady income from hobbies and jobs. You don’t really think you can just sit around, twiddling your thumbs, waiting for your artist to come and carry you off on his white horse, do you?” Miriam’s blue eyes had been blazing by then, as Camilla’s face had become sulkier and sulkier during this tirade.

“What will I do? Work in the office, wearing that awful suit? I don’t want to be a doctor, not after… after the awful Llama Flu; what if I get infected at the hospital again, this time turning into a pink blob…” Her voice breaks, and tears roll down her well shaped face, for Camilla can switch the tap on at any given moment. Miriam is not impressed, as this trick has been used too many times now… “What about Daniel?” Camilla continues, tears switched off as she can tell they’re not making the right impression, “What about him? When is he going to get promoted, and are you forcing him to work too?”

Miriam sighs, “Goodness child, what a choice of words. It is important to contribute. You know we’re almost able to afford the next bit of ground to be cleared. It will be good to be part of that, to share the burden. Yes, Daniel will be promoted as soon as his papers arrive, just in case he meets his betrothed. You know he has been promised to Giada… Both of you will soon be gone as well and we’ll be alone, save for Zahra… Of course, Daniel will work too, he wants to be the photographer.”

Camilla wails straight away, “Ooooh, mum! I wanted to be the photographer! You can wear your own clothes, and you get to meet lots of important people! That is so unfair, why was Daniel allowed to be the photographer, why did nobody ask me if I wanted to have that career…?” Tears appears as if by magic again, and Miriam waits patiently, even though she feels like rolling her eyes, and shaking the spoilt girl! Camilla finally finishes off with a few sniffs, and says, “Well, in that case, I’ll do the fashion career. I’m good at fashion, and I might even be made a model, who knows! Serves Daniel right if he has to do a complete photoshoot of just me!” Miriam pulls a face, knowing that the likelihood is extremely remote…!

Off to work they go, the newly promoted Daniel, with his beautiful face, dark eyebrows and smiling eyes, and the sulky looking Camilla. Daniel reminds her a little of Brandon, because of their longish hair, although Brandon’s isn’t as neatly kempt as Daniel’s hair. Daniel loves his job, taking pictures everywhere. Camilla doesn’t enjoy her work, or any work for that matter! She is just filling in time, waiting for their relationship to progress. She doesn’t have to wait long. Brandon is in a hurry it seems, and even before the wedding the official SiMobile Government Moving Permit arrives. Camilla’s parents and aunt and uncle gasp; they can’t believe she will move in without being married to Brandon! Camilla doesn’t mind, doesn’t care, as her only concern is to start a new life, as she keeps telling herself, and her bags are packed; she is ready to go, ready for her new life as Mrs Snow, being an adult in her own right, choosing a hobby, doing what she wants, wearing what she wants! “I can’t wait,” she whispers in her room whilst packing her few personal belongings, “I can have all the makeup I want, wear whatever I want, do whatever I want… I can’t get over it, it’s going to be amazing! I can’t wait to ditch this top for one, it’s so stiff and starchy!”

The first thing Camilla does at the Snow’s house is change her outfit. That is, after the quick treatment for the repeat bout of Llama Flu, the Weebles variety again, fortunately. Both Brandon and Camilla were quite relaxed about the Flu this time, trusting the treatment. Fortunately for them, the treatment worked. Camilla appears again, wearing a short top, showing her bare midriff…unheard of in the Mortina household. Nobody ever, in the entire Mortina Dynasty, has ever showed bare midriffs… Camilla feels great, the cool breeze on her stomach a totally new thing. The first thing Brandon does when Camilla moves into the Snow residence is to start the wedding Event, Camilla secretly feeling relieved…

Miriam is chatting to Eva, a close relative of Brandon; Eva being Eva Mortina before her marriage into the Snow family. Eva pulls a face, and Miriam suddenly remembers Eva’s childhood nickname of Miss Stroppy, and thinks to herself that nothing seems to have changed on that score! Eva sighs, and says, clearly doing her best to be tactful, “Camilla moved in as you know, and Brandon started the wedding event. Fortunately, they can just do the event, not the entire Quest, like Paul and I had to do… Camilla seems to be alright, she changed her clothes straight away, obviously making a statement. Mind you, I think it backfired a little… She was crying and complaining to Brandon’s mum how all the guys make comments, pat her back, give her funny looks and what have you… I don’t think she realises she is sending out a dodgy message with her dress code. Of course, those guys are wrong, but sending out the wrong message is…well, it’s the wrong message, isn’t it!”

Miriam leans against Samuel that evening, looking sad, feeling weary. “Do you think she will be alright?” she asks, and she puts her hand on her heart, as she feels that each day another shard splinters off, shrinking her heart; hurting her heart… Samuel smiles at her, hugs and elbows her at the same time. They would have had a wild game, using cushions, rolled up newspaper, anything, but Zahra walks into the room, recently promoted! Her sweet face glows, and she is waving a note at them. They both sober up, and give Zahra their full attention.

Zahra shows them the note, and explains that she has been accepted in the Fashion studio, as an ASOS Fashionista. A position had come free in the atelier, as Camilla had left to move in with Brandon. What a difference, Miriam thinks, what a difference between my two girls… “This note is amazing news as well,” Zahra continues, “it’s from the Knight family. Their son…” she tears up, overwhelmed by happiness and excitement, “their son…he…he has indicated his willingness to marry me!” and she cries a flood of happy tears, hugging Miriam, and showing her the letter. Miriam is relieved, and hugs her back tightly! She reminds herself that all things are in God’s Hand, even her daughters’ lives, and that some people just have to learn the hard way that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side… She is suddenly convinced that Camilla will be fine, and that it will all work out well. It might take time, some people are slow learners, but she is sure that Camilla will grow up in all respects, some time! As for Zahra, well, Miriam is bursting with happiness, and feeling blessed that she will be able to share in her happiness, at least for a while. Will she be around long enough to meet Zahra’s Beau…or will the retirement cake be served before then…

Celebrations

The voice outside her bedroom has stopped, the phone call ended, the silence smothering her, making it hard to breath. The door to the Granny Annexe opens, she can tell by the way shoes are scraped on the mat that Richard has come in. Will he come to this side of the divider and tell her what the phone call was about? She can hear his steps coming over, and through the divider she can see his tall form, looking incredible weary. Her heart sinks. The phone call must have been bad news. She leans back into the pillows, clutching the yellow bedspread as tight as she can, to stop herself from crying out, from breaking down. If that was bad news, then Richard will need a strong wife to help him through this storm.

Richard comes round the blue divider, looks at her, and almost throws himself on her. “Oh Tabitha,” he weeps, “Oh Tabitha, that was Dr Dean himself. There is hope, there really is hope! I will need to get to the EA Hospital straight away, bringing my ID number, and Letter of Introduction, he will take photos, and review my case! He says not to despair, that it’s amazing what they can do, and he sympathised with me, saying how awkward it must feel to be a doctor and not being able to help myself!”

He clutches her, sobs shaking his broad muscular shoulders, his broad chest heaving, breathing big gasps of air. “I have been so scared, so worried! I love you so much, I am desperate to have a life with you, I want a family with you, to be all that a husband should be, protecting you, supporting you, cherishing you…instead I’m dying on you! I feel so guilty, so devastated, and now…there is hope, I can finally see this minuscule speck of light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel!”

Getting dressed, getting bags packed, getting transport, getting to the Hospital…Tabitha sighs, so much getting, rushing, moving around. Now they are at the huge EA Hospital, and it has turned into a waiting game. Dr Dean’s secretary has taken their details, ID number, Letters, papers. They have been for photos, and the results were through to the Doctor already, she assured them. There is nothing to be done but wait. Tabitha looks at Richard, waiting patiently in the uncomfortable chair next to her. He looks exhausted! First the party, then that phone call and all the emotions that call brought to the surface, then the mad scrambling about, and now…nothing. No wonder he looks past it!

Finally they get to see Dr Dean. He is very kind and confident, lively and with a great sense of humour. Tabitha is amazed, she found most doctors lose their sense of humour after seeing to many patients, worn down by people’s grumbles and complaints. He tells them that there is definitely hope, and that he might be able to do a Reversal, if necessary, but that he will need a little more information. He gives them a list with information he will need, and a note for the ward where Richard will need to stay overnight, as well as the usual stack of permission papers to sign.

The ward is light and tastefully decorated, based on the second floor, with large windows at the end of each room. Richard installs himself, glad to be able to rest. Tabitha fusses around, refreshing his water, straitening his blanket, moving things, fiddling…until he asks her to just sit, and rest! Tabitha lowers herself in the chair, feeling herself shaking inside, her nerves taut as a tightrope. She just wants to know the outcome, wants the procedure done, wants Richard well!

Late in the afternoon, when Tabitha realises that she will need to get back home soon, the door to Richard’s ward opens, and a doctor comes in, a lady doctor. She is very kind looking, smiles, introduces herself and explains why she is here. “I have looked at your case, and I can see that there are 16 t-shirts missing. We will try and reverse that, of course, but I will just need to look into it a bit more.”

Tabitha and Richard are stunned. T-shirts? Missing? Does she mean he hasn’t got Llama Flu, but just a clothes allergy? “You mean…you mean, if I just wear a different type of clothes, I will actually be alright?” Richard stammers, utterly confused.

The lady doctor smiles, and says, “Well, that might work. You could try it, and see if it works?”

Tabitha speaks up then, her voice strained, lips feeling like rubber and out of her control, “We tried that! We tried it lots of times! As soon as he arrived somewhere new though, the symptoms all came back! I’m sure, we’re sure, it’s a lot more serious than can be fixed by different clothes. I know allergies can be devastating, debilitating, but this seems to be very different from an allergic reaction!”

The doctor listens, makes some notes, and agrees to look into the case a bit more, but she explains that if there is a fundamental disease at work, there might not be much modern EA medicine can do to help. They might just have to learn to live with the bug, or not live as the case may be.

Tabitha leans back in the chair, too shocked to hear or see anything. She barely registers the lady doctor saying goodbye and leaving the ward. She doesn’t hear the nurse telling all visitor to go and let the patients rest. She is just lost to the world, utterly devastated. No hope after all. Richard will always be in Sims Mobile, no traits, never really part of the family, and no friends, for his disease makes it impossible for people outside the family to interact with him properly. He will be living in the house for many generations, seeing them, hearing them, but never really part of them. How absolutely ruinous this disease is, destroying their lives, their dreams…

She finally staggers from the hospital, blinded by tears, her face wet, her heart crushed and grinded to pieces. No hope! No hope, her heart beats with each step. She can’t remember how she got back home, but somehow she finds herself in the little Granny Annexe, in the big double bed with the yellow bedspread. How she hates that bedspread by now, determined to buy another bedspread as soon as she can! Any colour but yellow, she thinks, her head spinning, thoughts floating round and round, making her feel nauseous. She leans back in the pillows, turning them every now and then when the cascading tears have soaked the pillowslip too much.

When morning comes, Tabitha drags herself out of bed, gets dressed, and prepares herself for the hospital visit, her thoughts drifting through shops selling black outfits. “I will need a mourning dress, and some black every day clothes,” she thinks, exhaustion making her walk slower than ever. She gets to the hospital though, of course she does, however much she wished she didn’t have to be there yet, to just postpone the inevitable a little longer. There is no delaying the meeting though, and soon she is standing by Richard’s bedside. He looks so handsome, yet so poorly, she thinks. Richard clearly hasn’t slept either, the grief in his eyes nearly her undoing.

The door opens, they turn round, and there is Dr Dean! He smiles at them, shakes hands, and sits down at the side of the bed. “I need to apologise,” he begins, “something went wrong yesterday, a bit of a misunderstanding I’m afraid, so don’t worry about my colleague’s explanation. Anyway, I have reviewed your case again myself, and I am convinced that we can do the Reversal. That has some consequences, as you can imagine, but it should also lead to your full and total recovery, if the procedure is successful, that is.”

Tabitha gasps, Richard grips her hand, and both of them stare at the doctor, hope springing up in their hearts again, tears forming, happy tears! They smile at each other, and agree to have the procedure done immediately. It won’t take very long, and hopefully the effect will not be too devastating. “Richard will need to stay in overnight, for observation, to check that the Flu is definitely gone. If he seems clear he may go home, and you will need to observe him there for a day as well. Once he had been clear for the day, he should be recovered fully.” Tabitha wondered how the doctor saw ‘full recovery’, whether there would be any aftereffects of the Flu, any permanent damage… She didn’t really want to ask though, I mean, she couldn’t, could she! He had just given them a ticket to life, so how could she moan about details, and wanting more than was given them?

She wondered though. She wondered all through the operation, when Richard came back to the ward, looking himself, and feeling better already. The doctor said that he was quite sure that the Reversal had been successfull, but obviously only time would tell. Tabitha went home, and still wondered. Richard came home the next morning, having been completely cleared by the Hospital. That evening they knew, they both knew that the dreaded Llama Flu had been vanquished! Yes, there had been some cost to it, some small losses, but nothing they couldn’t recover, really. Now he was here, with her, alive and well! Oh joy!

“The honeymoon can start now!” he whispers into her hair that night, “Where would you like to go? I can’t believe it, I really can’t! My heart feels it could burst any moment, I’m so incredibly happy! After the desolation the bad news brought me, I feel total bliss and exhilaration, and…and so much joy!”

Tabitha smiles, and kisses him back, and whispers, “I know, my beloved, I know. I didn’t believe it then, but that night, that horrible excruciating night, when the lady doctor had taken all hope away from us, a verse came into my heart. I dismissed it, too grieved to even believe it possible. After all, she had been pretty sure of herself, and seemed very smart and competent, so I had no reason to believe this whisper in my heart. It said, ‘Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.’ I was too sad to listen, but it was right! That still, small voice was right, and I am so glad! I’m just overflowing with gratefulness, and I can’t wait to glide through life at your side!”

The honeymoon was glorious, and all that honeymoons are made for, joy bubbling from hem like a spring, infecting everyone around them. Their happiness knew no bounds it seemed, and life was the golden dream that Tabitha had so wished for. They didn’t think anyone in Sims Mobile could be happier than they were, that they had really bumped into the ceiling of joy.

They were wrong. It turned out that joy could grow a lot more, as it did, in sync with Tabitha’s belly! They were expecting a baby, and Tabitha didn’t have to wonder anymore. When Dr Dean had said there would be a full recovery, he really meant it! They were going to be parents, they were having a family after all! Tabitha cried so many happy tears that her Mum started to worry. “I’m sure all these tears can’t be very good for the baby,” she said rather disapprovingly one afternoon, “I think you might have to deal with your happiness in a better way, my dear.”

The months flew by, and then there was the big day, when Richard and Tabitha were able to show their daughter to the world! They named her Eva, ‘the mother of all living’ Tabitha had said, smiling, and crying again, of course! “She is our miracle baby, the blessing we thought we would never have. We feel so, so utterly rich.” She kissed the tiny face, overwhelmed with God’s goodness to them. Yes, they were definitely dancing on the mountaintops again, and not ever would they take any blessing for granted, but would always carefully count them, one by one!

Friends

Slowly sounds and smells creep into Tabitha’s consciousness. She feels warm, cocooned, safe and protected. The smell becomes stronger and stronger, a good smell, a good quality smell, a smell powerful enough to make you open one eye, and peek. She looks at the wallpaper, the yellow stripy bedspread… Tabitha opens both eyes, closes them again as the light is way too bright. Squinting, she looks round to locate the wonderful smell…ah! Her coffee. Lovingly provided by her sweet husband.

She drags herself into a sitting position, slowly, her pulse banging a arrhythmic rhythm in her head, like a third rate nightclub gone bad. She groans quietly, shuffles and snuggles until she is comfortable, and reaches for her coffee. “Mmmm, bliss! Just what I needed!” she sighs, contentedly. “I know this headache is mainly self-inflicted, but even so…nothing like a good, strong coffee to cure everything.” She pulls a face at that, when her words register with her half sleeping brain. A cure for everything that is but Llama Flu.

She sniffs the coffee, hugging the mug, looking round at the wallpaper of the Granny Annexe, where she and Richard are now living. Seeing that they will probably just meander through life, no children, no traits in Richard’s case, just plain boring old couple, so why not put the in the Granny Annexe already? She can feel the tears, but manages to swallow them down with some more coffee. Looking at the coffee she remember the little Dutch tile on her friend’s house: “A man must be as coffee, Good, Strong and Warm” it said. She smiles, too true!

Thinking of friends makes her think of the previous night. What a night it was! She had dreaded it, worried about it, fretted over it, until she was exhausted before the party even started! The worst thing was, she and Richard were expecting a message from the Hospital Specialist at moment, which made it very hard to concentrate. She did enjoy her gorgeous dress though, with beautiful necklace complementing her eyes. She had fussed, and kept looking at herself, until she thought of her friend quoting that beautiful song by Eric Clapton, called Beautiful Tonight.

It was so true, she smiles at the memory, they were like that last night, wondering if she looked alright. Richard smiling, saying it was fine… Knowing it could be one of the last parties to go to ever made it extra special. Knowing that the handsome husband at her side might never be at her side again made her fuss, she admits. She was so worried, not just about how she looked, but that she would do him proud. Richard was feeling terribly unwell, but was determined to make it to the party. He was wearing a tux, looking as strong and handsome as ever. She wanted him to be proud of her, to feel that he could show her off a bit, to have a grand party, just in case it was his last!

How she struggled though! People arrived soon after everything was set up, the cake and huge flowers in the foyer. They took some pictures of the two of them, as well as of Chris and Victoria. She loved Victoria’s gown, white with bits of pink. Victoria looked stunning, and well put together. She sighed, and remembered how hard it had been even then in the foyer, before the party had even started, to not cry. She had felt so jealous! Grumpy Chris, married to stunning Victoria, both healthy young people, probably ready to have a honeymoon baby. Standing next to her and Richard, who might not live long enough to see the end of the honeymoon, and who would never be able to give her a honeymoon baby. Any baby for that matter, not even an adopted one. Tears come then, in spite of the comfort of her soft bed and hot coffee.

She remembers her brave smile, and Richard’s strong arm round her. That helped, and by the time the first guests arrived she was ready for them. She blushes a little then, thinking of how wild she had been at the chess set. What had she been thinking, explaining a game in such a ridiculous way! How embarrassing, what with some very distinguished guests, like Greta Garbo around! Never mind, better than hiding in the bathroom, like she did later that evening… She just needed the break, the music and happy chatter getting to her. She had looked into the gold star mirror, and cried and cried…

Her mum, Adrianna had found her there, and she had poured out her heart to her mum, which really helped. They chatted a while, and she had rejoiced the party. She feels herself relaxing as she remembers one of the guests. Very beautify, and wearing lovely clothes, she was also named Victoria, very confusing that was, Victoria McDonnell. She had been so sweet and kind to her! She had found her in the main bedroom, having a secret peek at the bassinet, and of course, Victoria knew about Richard, about the Llama Flu. Rather than brush it off, or trying to cheer her up with well meaning platitudes, she had really listened to her. She had comforted her, just by being there, and by looking her straight in the eye, listening, nodding, Victoria’s face mirroring hers.

“Wow, she was so kind and amazing,” breathes Tabitha, “I wonder when I will see her next…” for one awful moment the word ‘funeral’ trails through her brain. No, she won’t allow that thought! No, she has to keep hold of hope, grasping it with both hands, cherishing it like this hot mug of coffee. That is one of the things Victoria counselled her to do, to not give up hope, rather than live her life grieving something that may not even happen!

The party had actually been pretty good fun, she smiles, breathing in the smell of coffee; great fun in fact. Many details seem a bit fuzzy, probably to do with the drinks fountain, but she remembers the overall atmosphere. Every now and then she caught sight of Richard, smiling, chatting to people. Only she could tell that he really wasn’t feeling well. Once she saw him sitting on one of the little round cushions they had won, and oh dear, he looked so very, very sad. She thought her heart might break! Her sweet darling husband, looking like a broken man, a drowning man, a man without any hope.

She had quickly left the room, gone to chat outside the kitchen wall, to…well, she can’t even remember now! Kiera, I think her name was, she mumbles, Kiera something. I probably remember her, blue hair, short top, bit of a live wire… Glad I’m married to Richard, and even gladder that he has no interest in females at this time! In fact, scanning in her mind’s eye through the guests that were there last night, she can actually think of some blessings to count on that score…! Mind you, they were amazing friends though! Bristol had chatted with her a lot, in fact, they became quite good friends in just one evening! Vivien Leigh came to mid, she was so kind! “I can’t believe it,” she says to herself, with awe in her voice, “she is an amazing looking woman, yet she spent a lot of time with Mum that evening! She really cheered her up, Mum said she had been so kind and understanding, haha, even Mum couldn’t believe it!”

She giggles to herself as she thinks back to the time when she’d come out of the Granny Annexe, eyes still a bit tender from all the tears, to find Richard dancing with some girls! Hilarious! She actually laughs out loud, nearly spilling her coffee, as she tries to imitate some of the dance moves used…Honestly, there should be a proper dace academy in Sims Mobile! Any self respecting town, with so many parties as well, should have some top notch dance teachers! That dancefloor is great, but the dancing…!

Her hilarity ebbs away though, as another memory from the dancefloor comes to mind… The microphone had been placed on the dancefloor, to help any impromptu DJs, or singers or whatever. This time the memory is one of herself, holding the microphone, singing, her voice sounding hoarse and choked up, rasping out, ‘Who Wants to Live Forever?’, desperately trying to not break down. Truth is, she does! Or rather, she and Richard do. Maybe not forever, but just to live a normal life, just them two together, to love, to hold, to cherish…to have a family, and to live a full and rich life!

“Heaven will be forever,” she sighs, “I know that, but this life? I wanted to make this life count too, Lord. Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to be sad when life is slipping away from my sweetheart? Is it wrong to want to hold onto him just that bit longer, and to live, not forever of course, but to live to a good, ripe old age?” She knows it’s not wrong, of course it’s not. Her desperation and fierceness and demanding health and life and strength? Mmm, that might be different matter…

She pulls a face, yes, I know I’m a desperate woman, who is ambitious and probably demanding as well. I know I take things to heart. She feels her face grow warm as she remembered how a good part of the Wedding Reception she had been standing in the kitchen, staring at the highchair, working herself up into a state! Oh dear, I am a bit silly, she grimaces, I do need to practise a bit more self control I think.

Mind you, one of the guests, Ginamarie could do with some as well, the way she and some of the other girls behave…or Tyler for that matter… She pushes all guilty feelings away, “I know I’m being judgmental, but seriously, some of them go too far,” she says defensively. “They play with lives of others, and they play hard, I have never seen people more competitive than that lot last night!” she says, remembering them playing a game together. Richard was there, laughing, and seemingly totally relaxed. Actually, it had been quite funny, she thinks, softening, memories marching past her one by one.

The party had finished very late, but all of the Mortinas had managed to make it till the end, even Richard. She laughs, as she remembers the end of the party: they were all standing in the foyer together, waving and yawning rudely at the same time! Good grief, what would their friends think! Especially as some were so well to do…

The party had been better than she had expected, really. Having her friends round, all dressed in wonderful style, was such a comfort. It had helped to divert them a bit as well, although she knew that Richard kept checking his phone, hoping, praying the specialist would contact him, and give him some hope. By the time they crawled into bed in the Annexe there was still no message, nothing. She wondered if that was a good sign or a bad sign?

Her friends had all assured her they were thinking of them, that they were empathising with them, and all of them said how sad they were, and how they hoped some help could be found. Tabitha stares at the divider at the end of her bed, and wonders where Richard is. He obviously made the coffee, so he must be around somewhere. She goes quiet, and then she can hear him. He is on the phone! Is it the doctor, what’s his name, Dr Dean? Will there be hope? Is the man just bringing more bad news, even though she can’t imagine what else could go wrong. Apart from the very worst that is, but she just cannot bring herself to go there, praying fervently that it will not come to that. When will they know? Come on, Richard, how long can a phone call take?!

Shadows

Tabitha is hiding in the golden bathroom. Her eyes are sore, her nose is red, her face wet with tears. How can life go so badly wrong in such a short time? She sobs and sobs, trying to stifle them as much as possible, for fear that Richard will hear. Richard! That brings on a new flood of tears. “Oh, Richard,” she groans “my Richard! My wonderful, strong, handsome Knight in shining armour! What am I going to do? What can we do?”

Just a day or so ago Tabitha had been dancing on the mountaintop of life. Her heart was fit to burst, her cup was overflowing. She and Richard couldn’t have been happier, their future together stretching out as an endless golden dream. Now, in just the blink of an eye, their future looks a black gaping abyss.

Tabitha looks round her beautiful bathroom, all golden and shiny. What she wouldn’t give to have her dreams restored and polished till they shone again, too. Never, when going through all the worries about getting engaged and getting married, having to share her life and bed with a virtual stranger, never for once did she imagine this. Sure, arranged marriage is a huge gamble, it could lead to heartache and all sorts of issues. Sure, there is a lot of unfaithfulness, even in Sims Mobile, but Tabitha hadn’t banked on this. This horror, this…this unimaginable horror.

All was well during the wedding event, in spite of it lasting for ages. The sweet times together still play in her mind, in spite of their bittersweet aftertaste. The event did last, and last, and at one point Richard changed back into his green superhero suit. Tabitha stayed in her wonderful dress, it made her feel the queen of the house, even if it was just for a limited time! They discussed all sorts of things. They confessed all sorts of things. Tabitha confessed that she had toyed with the idea of just getting eloped; Richard didn’t like that idea!

The tears subside a bit whilst Tabitha is replaying the wedding, and the wonderful tender times they had. Until she remembers that conversation about having a family, planning how many children they were going to have. Tabitha slides down on the cool bathroom tiles, crying as if her heart will break. Children! They were going to have a house full of them, filling the little bassinet as quickly as it would empty! They had dreamed together about playing with their children, playing with the castle, watching them draw, encouraging them, praising them.

Tabitha cries and cries, until she is totally spent, and can not possibly cry anymore. She can’t get off the floor, she is too worn out. She doesn’t care about her wonderful career, she doesn’t care about the beautiful wedding dress she managed to buy. She doesn’t care about life anymore. What sort of life is it, anyway, which lies ahead? Bleak, empty, dark…never ending…

Once the wedding event was over, and they were officially pronounced husband and wife, life soon went back to normality. All four of them, as Chris and Victoria were married by now as well, went to work on the Luxury Events. They had totally neglected these as their courtships and weddings had taken top priority. Now that they were all four happily married, and both Victoria and Richard had been allowed to move in, it was time to resume normality.

That was when disaster struck, or rather, when the effects of the disaster became apparent. Tabitha stares ahead, not seeing the sparkling bath, or anything else for that matter. All she can see is the horror, the dread, the shock on her beloved’s face. Richard had gone to the restaurant to do the event there, she was at home, doing the Leisure event. First there had been a very garbled message from Jalisa Key. Jalisa is the manager at the restaurant, another one of the ancient workers that never seem to retire. According to Jalisa, Richard had collapsed, and was in fact beyond recognition.

Tabitha had absolutely no idea what Jalisa was talking about, the woman sounded completely out of breath as well as out of sense. She tried to get her off the phone as quickly as she could, just a little worried, wondering if the move and long wedding had been more tiring than they had realised. Tabitha wasn’t over concerned, as Richard was a very competent doctor, as well as young and strong, his muscles bulging under his wedding shirt!

Until she saw him, standing on the doorstep. Her world caved in, and everything went black. When Tabitha came round, she was on the bed in the Granny Annexe, a sad Lancelot and Adrianna by her side. She could tell that Adrianna had been crying, and she couldn’t remember her Dad ever looking so sad! “What happened?” she asked, then it all came flooding back in her mind. Her darling Richard, looking like a pink blob, standing on the doorstep, looking more distraught than she had thought possible. Her handsome, powerful husband, with his kind eyes and ready smile, reduced to a blob. It was beyond comprehension.

Richard knew what it was, of course. So did her Uncle Sebastian. They explained it to her, much later, when she was recovered of her initial shock. They all sat down in the Granny Annexe, looking sad, although for now Richard had recovered a little, looking just like his normal self. Tabitha looked at him, his strong arms, his eyes sparkling, just like he had looked for the last days or so whilst courting her, marrying her. Hope crept into her heart, she allowed it to sneak in quietly. Surely it couldn’t be that bad, with him looking the picture of health and manliness?

All her hopes were dashed though, and she felt her heart disintegrating with each sentence. The one word that started the destruction of her dreams was ‘Llama Flu’, and all hope fled from her heart. Llama Flu, the dreaded disease that Sims Mobile Hospital had been battling for centuries! The best doctors over the years had tried various vaccines, but nothing seemed to completely eradicate it. The vaccines prevented some of the cases, and in fact, she couldn’t remember having heard of a single case. Until now, that is.

She had heard of people displaying some of the symptoms: no growth in Traits, not retiring, not being able to move out… Nobody had ever told her about a single person having a full blown case of Llama Fly, though. Now it was here, in town, in her house, in her family. Her sweet, sweet husband was struck down with it! Tabitha closes her eyes, covering her face with her hands, and sobs.

Nothing in life has prepared her for this. There had been no warning, no way of knowing. No way of dealing with it either, it seems… She is utterly heartbroken, and looking at her wonderful husband, it is impossible to picture them together in the garden, wearing a white dress and a tux, whispering, laughing, kissing…

She cries out, wails, shrieks, clings onto him with all her might, their tears mixing whilst they kiss each other wildly, desperately, two young people crushed by the weight of calamity. Time stands still whilst they weep together, but eventually the cries subside, tears run dry, desperation turns into utter sadness. Richard looks at his sweet wife. He has come to really love and care for her, however independent she might be! He had been insanely happy during the wedding, eager to pack his bags and move in with his dearest Tabitha. Now all that seemed a dream, and the awakening had been abrupt and rude, shattering the dream, leaving just a faint memory of it.

“I’m sorry, my love, my sweetest Tabitha,” he whispers, his throat sore from crying, “I’m so, so sorry, more than I could ever express. I’m so sad on your account, having married a useless husband…My greatest wish was to provide for you, to take care of you the way you deserve…” He can’t speak anymore, his throat closed up, tears, new tears finding their way down his face.

Tabitha shushes him, putting a shaking hand on his lips. “Shhhh, my beloved, shhhh, Mr Handsome. I still love you, like I promised, ‘In sickness and in health’, and nothing will change that.” She swipes at some tears that managed to escape her eyes. “I love you, and to me you will always be my own special Mr Handsome. We will get through this, we are still together, you will still have good moments, as well as…as…” her voices quivers and almost breaks, but she won’t allow it to, “it won’t be easy, I know that but together we will make it, I promise!”

That was yesterday, and Tabitha still means it. The thing that almost hurts the most is the fact that not only does he regularly turn into a useless pink blob, he is also unable to give her any children. Not only are they unable to bear children naturally, Richard suffering from Llama Flu also excludes them from adopting children! The grief over that was almost Tabitha’s undoing. When her Uncle had explained the infertility issue, Tabitha had taken it quite calmly. In fact, she had thought by herself, “Oh well, there are other ways of growing a family. Surely it’s just a sad consequence, but not totally the end of our large family dreams.” Turns out that she was wrong. It was the end of her large family dreams, any family dreams in fact.

The most hurtful in the whole thing had been Chris’ remark the following day. It was that remark that made her flee to the safety of the bathroom, and open the floodgates of her heart. Chris had looked at her sad face, and remarked, “Seems like you needed those prayers after all! Seems like you can’t even get married without a little extra help. On the other hand, maybe if you hadn’t relied on your God, this might not have happened…!”

She had been so shocked, so utterly speechless, that all she could do was stagger to the bathroom, and lean against the wall, carefully avoiding all mirrors. Now she is here, in this bathroom, worn out, alone. She carelessly wonders what time it is, she does still have a job, after all! She sighs, nothing makes sense. Was Chris right after all?

Tabitha sits up straight, remembering the despair her Aunt Guinevere had been in, and how she had overcome all that. She was the one who had brought God into Tabitha’s life, and Tabitha would cling to Him now, in her despair.

She leans her head on her knees, wondering if she would ever feel a semblance of happiness again. Would she ever smile again, properly smile that is? Soon the wedding reception will be here, she will have to wear her special gown, smile, greet guests…Could she cope with their pitying looks, their whispers or well meaning advice? Part of her shakes and trembles, and shrieks ‘No’, but then, from deep in her heart, she hears the tiny whisper, ‘Yes, yes, you can do it, you’re not alone, not ever! Not on top of the mountain, not in the deepest valley. You will never be deserted, you will never be forsaken. You will be carried through the hardest parts of life. Never will you be alone!’

Tabitha sighs, it’s not going to be easy, but it is going to be possible. She needs her friends, their kindness and sympathy, and Richard? He needs her too, he needs her to be strong and brave and to love him through this deepest of valleys! She can do it, yes, she can do it!. Now…what about shoes…and jewellery? Should she wear makeup…or not…? No time to lose, the reception will be here before she is ready at this rate!